Just in case you missed it, you might want to skim through this post:
Time Dedication Needed To Turn Around Marriage
I gave a fairly in depth recap of the process I went through with my wife to make the changes necessary. Since your situation seems so similar, you might want to check it out in case you haven't already. It might give you a pointer or two you can use to to not only help open your communication but keep it positive.
** EDIT **
I feel I should note that while what you are going through seems almost identical to what I did, that doesn't mean what worked for me will for you. I am by no means an expert, I just know what worked for my marriage. What is most important is that you sit down with your wife and figure together what you are comfortable doing about it.
** END EDIT **
Also, I don't know what the rules are for mentioning books on the forum, but I have two specific books that my wife agreed to read and both helped her understand me and how it was ok that we each needed to feel loved in different ways. If you want, I can send you an IM with the two titles. Just don't pressure her too hard to read them, give her time.