Good Morning, I'm extremely new to this site I signed up a while back but have been so busy. In reading your post and your reply my heart goes out to you! It's a frustrating situation. I'm in somewhat of the same boat. In my opinion if after all these years your still running round in round in circles and feel your still getting no where and your wasting your life still and have wasted many years of your life, maybe it is time to move on, have you ever tried to write the positives and the negatives about your marriage? Like one side of the paper write the positive things about our marriage and your spouse and then on the other side write the negatives, do you feel there's things that you've not worked on that you could both work on together, or is it hopeless and you feel you know it is but are too scared to move on?! I know this feeling all to well! I've been married 10 years and I was getting ready to post something when I came across your posting, everyone tells me that change is hard and that's what I was going to say to you originally, change is scary and it is hard but we've got to try and do what is BEST For us and if you know in your heart that the counseling isn't working and he's just not getting what your trying to make work, than maybe it's time to move on and take one day at a time, focus on YOU. I'm so sorry, I wish I had better things to say, and maybe I wasn't the best for responding but at this time this is how I feel as far as if this was me kind of thing? I Hope I make sense to you. Take care and here's a hug from me! :hug:
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Originally Posted by slickplant35
No he doesn't want to add to the marriage. You know like every couple out there you have good and bad times. Lately they are only the bad. I can't see how he sees things like not wanting to help in supporting my daughter and I. Whatever he is doing is good enough. His business being slow and not looking elsewhere to help make our lives easier just makes me angry because there is no reason for it. I saw in alot of your postings about the kissing and just making each other feel loved and important well he never comes home and kisses me I would be lucky some days if I get a hello. He doesn't get out of the recliner long enough for anything. Flowers yeah right no flowers only when it's our anniversary and then it's not special because there is a cause for them. I may sound off the walls, but I just feel that I wasted my whole life waiting for a change how stupid was I????? He has this thing about me controlling him and acting like his mommy. Well he is so irresponsible that if I don't do certain things they wouldn't get done. Last year the Dr's thought he had bladder cancer and he had a lot of tests and was running back and forth for Dr appts and he never called and made one appt, wanted me to go to every appt I ran to every test he never complained about me being the mommy then. He complains when it doesn't suit him. I am just so tired of all of this but so scared.
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