Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

eyez.burg · 07-12-2008, 11:52 AM

My boyfriend and I are on seperation for a short time. It was one that I didn't chose and was kind of pushed into it.

We went away for the day to spend time together. We held hands, talked, kissed, and all the other emotional stuff. Two days later he comes to my house and says that he's frustrated with me and that he needs to talk. He says that Im not responsible enough and that Im too insecure.

The responsible part is tough because he says that Im not working hard enough toward school. We both have the dream of moving to a different school to work on our master's degrees. I'm working full time and going to night school. He says that I should be doing more research for grants and preperation because it takes lots of time. Some things I can't do because I just can't afford them right now. Some things I can't do because we didn't plan to move until a year or so. I have credit problems because of bad family and he doesn't think that Im taking enough steps to fix them. I'm trying in every way that I can.

As for the insecure part, I agreed that I am insecure. But I've had my share of little red flags that go up. There is a girl that he works with that is very shy and stuff like that. He's the type of person that likes to get people to open up and be more fun. One night coming home from school I was dropping off movies for a friend and saw him and this girl talking outside the place that they were working. I was upset because I tried to call him and he didn't answer, it was only after I pulled into the parking lot did he answer his phone. When I pulled up he introduced me as his girlfriend and I met this girl. I left and he came over and apologized and everything. Things were fine. Then about a week later he asked if she could come over. He ordered pizza and he brought a couple of movies. Him and her sat on one couch and I sat on the other. There were moments in the night that I felt left out....in my own apartment. Then a couple of days later he asked if she could come over and spend the night. I said I was fine with that because at certain hours of the night I don't like anyone driving....especially by themselves. So we played dice, talked, and started watching a movie. I had to be at work by 5 in the morning so we both decided that I would go to sleep at 1. Things were very quiet when we were up watching the movie. Not but 5 min. after I got to my room I heard laughing and talking. After about 30min. I couldn't sleep and just stayed awake. When we were watching the movie, she was on one couch and I was on the other, farthest away from her, and he had his head on my lap. When I went back out there, he flipped around and his head was really close to hers. He came to bed after he knew I was upset and asked me why I was so insecure. I told him that I didn't know why.

I don't know what to do. I live by myself and most of my friends I dont' talk to because either they live too far away or all they do is bring up my other ex. Like I said before, my family and I don't talk, we're all on very bad terms. I'm pretty much by myself. The only two people I have are him and my sister, who is pretty much going through the same thing. I haven't eaten in about a week. I know it's not good and I want to eat...I just can't. He said that no matter what happens he will always love me. He said that I'm the one that he wants to be with but he says he's lost and confused. It's very hard not to text him or call him but I know that I can't and should just give him his space. He also said that he didn't want to seperate and he doesn't want to break up but he needs to figure things out. On the flip side, for the seperation he made me decide whether he was going to be attached or single through this seperation. I told him that I wished that he wouldn't go out with other girls but there was nothing I could do to stop him. He asked what the point of seperation was if I couldn't do anything.

I'm getting mixed signals from him and I don't know what to think. School ends in a couple of weeks and Im going to take on another job until I get financial things situated. He swears up and down that we've had this discussion at least 5 times but I only remember having it once. He said its been building up for awhile. Im hurt because he let me believe everything was ok. I really want this to work because I know it can and things would be wonderful. I'm putting my nose to the grind. I can't see myself with anyone else and it kills me to think of him with anyone else.

What is he really thinking? What should I do? Should I hope for a new beginning or should I accept fate and move on?

My only problem is that I feel that what I have is true love. If this isn't it than I don't know what it really is and I have to just not see anything and not care for a very long time. I thought I had real love before him and that was wrong but this time I know it's real. So please, tell me what can I do?

07-12-2008, 11:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
eyez.burg Registered User Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 3	Seperation Anxiety My boyfriend and I are on seperation for a short time. It was one that I didn't chose and was kind of pushed into it. We went away for the day to spend time together. We held hands, talked, kissed, and all the other emotional stuff. Two days later he comes to my house and says that he's frustrated with me and that he needs to talk. He says that Im not responsible enough and that Im too insecure. The responsible part is tough because he says that Im not working hard enough toward school. We both have the dream of moving to a different school to work on our master's degrees. I'm working full time and going to night school. He says that I should be doing more research for grants and preperation because it takes lots of time. Some things I can't do because I just can't afford them right now. Some things I can't do because we didn't plan to move until a year or so. I have credit problems because of bad family and he doesn't think that Im taking enough steps to fix them. I'm trying in every way that I can. As for the insecure part, I agreed that I am insecure. But I've had my share of little red flags that go up. There is a girl that he works with that is very shy and stuff like that. He's the type of person that likes to get people to open up and be more fun. One night coming home from school I was dropping off movies for a friend and saw him and this girl talking outside the place that they were working. I was upset because I tried to call him and he didn't answer, it was only after I pulled into the parking lot did he answer his phone. When I pulled up he introduced me as his girlfriend and I met this girl. I left and he came over and apologized and everything. Things were fine. Then about a week later he asked if she could come over. He ordered pizza and he brought a couple of movies. Him and her sat on one couch and I sat on the other. There were moments in the night that I felt left out....in my own apartment. Then a couple of days later he asked if she could come over and spend the night. I said I was fine with that because at certain hours of the night I don't like anyone driving....especially by themselves. So we played dice, talked, and started watching a movie. I had to be at work by 5 in the morning so we both decided that I would go to sleep at 1. Things were very quiet when we were up watching the movie. Not but 5 min. after I got to my room I heard laughing and talking. After about 30min. I couldn't sleep and just stayed awake. When we were watching the movie, she was on one couch and I was on the other, farthest away from her, and he had his head on my lap. When I went back out there, he flipped around and his head was really close to hers. He came to bed after he knew I was upset and asked me why I was so insecure. I told him that I didn't know why. I don't know what to do. I live by myself and most of my friends I dont' talk to because either they live too far away or all they do is bring up my other ex. Like I said before, my family and I don't talk, we're all on very bad terms. I'm pretty much by myself. The only two people I have are him and my sister, who is pretty much going through the same thing. I haven't eaten in about a week. I know it's not good and I want to eat...I just can't. He said that no matter what happens he will always love me. He said that I'm the one that he wants to be with but he says he's lost and confused. It's very hard not to text him or call him but I know that I can't and should just give him his space. He also said that he didn't want to seperate and he doesn't want to break up but he needs to figure things out. On the flip side, for the seperation he made me decide whether he was going to be attached or single through this seperation. I told him that I wished that he wouldn't go out with other girls but there was nothing I could do to stop him. He asked what the point of seperation was if I couldn't do anything. I'm getting mixed signals from him and I don't know what to think. School ends in a couple of weeks and Im going to take on another job until I get financial things situated. He swears up and down that we've had this discussion at least 5 times but I only remember having it once. He said its been building up for awhile. Im hurt because he let me believe everything was ok. I really want this to work because I know it can and things would be wonderful. I'm putting my nose to the grind. I can't see myself with anyone else and it kills me to think of him with anyone else. What is he really thinking? What should I do? Should I hope for a new beginning or should I accept fate and move on? My only problem is that I feel that what I have is true love. If this isn't it than I don't know what it really is and I have to just not see anything and not care for a very long time. I thought I had real love before him and that was wrong but this time I know it's real. So please, tell me what can I do?