Originally Posted by MRi
Before I was married I was the MOST confident woman. I wasn't threatened by other women, and I Knew what I was blessed with.
I know that this sounds conceited but hear me out please.
Now that I'm married, I don't have that same spark about me. I'm worried about my looks, weight, and if my husband still sees me the way that he did before we were married.
I feel threated by other women, and I don't like this feeling at all.
What should I do about getting my self confidence back?
This is so petty, but I catch myself sometimes flashing my ring when where are other women in the room! ( Like that is going to stop them?!)
I know I'm being ridiculous - please give me your input!
I have not read your other posts, but I do not need to.
Here are the facts:
A woman is insecure when she is not feeling desired by her husband.
This is nothing to belittle a woman, it is feminine nature and is useful to bring the good man and woman in a relationship into healthy balance.
When this is out of balance, the woman will feel insecure.
If balance is still not maintained, the woman's insecurity will fuel resentment to her man.
The solution is to get him to communicate, not in words, but in action, his desire to you.
The solution is NOT to fill this issue with distractions, like a hobby or something else.
There is no problem with "you", this is simply a relationship issue and can be fixed. And it is better to adress this relationship issue before it spirals out of control.
Here are some suggestions:
A man is attracted to the visual, so make sure the things you do and wear attract his attention. Also, and this is important, the man is good to notice little details even if he is not always mentioning this or that, so these visual things you do are to be SUBTLE, never over the top. Think of the things he has so much as told you about or reacted to strongly, a man will have specific "turn ons", so use these. If you do not know them, at some intimate time when you two are alone steer the conversation to this area, and listen to what he says.
Also, and maybe more important in this issue, there is the man's center of self, or what is sometime's called his "ego". This is what he invisions his ideal as, what he thinks of as his goal as a human, and is what motivates his character, behavior, passion, and interests.
Know at the core of this center of self, in every man, is the desire to be, to someone he cares about, that he is their "hero".
To the person that he is their "hero", there is no competition from anyone else.
Look for these opportunities to let him be your "hero", even in the big things or the little things. This will bring his focus and connection back to you and away from the other distractions that he may be looking to find this connection with.
I wish you well.