Precious

I'm new at this and I'm not sure where to begin. I discovered four months ago that my husband was in the beginning stages of an affair. I found text messages and phone calls on the phone bill (hundreds in a five week period of time). I confronted him and he said that nothing physical had happened yet. He knew that what he was doing was unacceptable in our marriage. He told me that he loves me but he is not in love with me. He said that he did not want a divorce. Two weeks after I found the text messages and he was going to cut all contact with this person I found emails where he was telling her how beautiful she was, he missed her and her beautiful smile, he wanted her so bad it hurt. This has been devastating he has been married twice before me and he has NEVER done anything like this, he has always been the one getting hurt. This just isn't his personality. I felt that things weren't right between us and would try to talk about it. He said he just didn't have to have sex. He was forty and he can just do without it now. I have tried everything to get his attention, texting and emailing during the day, notes, lingerie, gifts and etc. He has never refused sex but he will not initiate it. He will not show affection in public. He never compliments me on ANYTHING. When I bring it up he agrees he doesn't do these things and he should but it doesn't change. He vows that he loves me and this is where he wants to be. Please help!