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Just a little update. The holidays went so-so. She was disappointed that "nothing special" was given to her for xmas or new years's. I admit that the xmas thing wasn't great. I had looked for that 1 special thing, but was unsuccessful. I didn't even think of getting anything for new years. She said even a heartfelt card about restarting our life would have fit the bill.
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Well....would a heartfelt card about restarting your lives have been so hard to give? Something special means you thought of her and did it from the heart. Doesn't matter if it's a limmo or a tiny pebble with a bow around it and a smile. That's what you don't seem to understand. Practice little things.
When you leave the house and she's not around but will be later, leave her a post it with 'hey..went to this place, will be back soon, will miss ya and i love you'. This is worth (for most women) more than buying them an entire closet of clothes. Or at least for me anyway.
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So she's been a little off because of it. This attitude worries me. I have been working pretty hard at being there, being more attentive, and really chipping in with home, kids etc. While i have certainly seen progress, i am worried that i will be forever held to some standard that i will not be able to maintain.
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She's off because you said you'd change....tried to do something extreme and failed...and ended up doing nothing. So she saw you doing nothing. You don't have to bring the moon down for her...you just have to show her you care once in a while. Ex: you don't have to bring her a huge bouquet of roses...you just remember to get one single flower on your way home and give it to her telling her you thought of her that day. It's not the flower she wants...it's the thought and proof that you DID think of her. Get it? If you're
working to do it..you're doing it wrong. Just cool off a bit and do small things from the heart.
Progress is made one day at a time. Don't do something today, see how things are better tomorrow and then jump to expecting everything is ok. Build your way up slowly. Don't treat it as work or you'll get frustrated and want to give up. Little things matter more than big things. A compliment to her here and there, a bit of flirting for both your fun, a thoughtful yet small gesture everyday, will get you far. Do things you enjoy as well...again, it won't feel like you're working for it.
