silverfalcon81

We have tried putting it on paper, she thinks its "stupid" and won't do it. I used to try to talk to her about things all the time, only to get a "I don't care", "I don't know", "I don't want to talk about it", or "I am going to sleep because I'm soooo tired". Then when I insist on having a talk she yells at me because she isn't in the mood to talk, then shuts down and glares at me while I talk. And then proceeds to blame me because I am the one who always focuses on the bad. Well I would love to focus on the positive, but there isn't any to focus on.

In regards to the sex thing I don't think you understood me exactly, I am not a sexual person. I am completly content going 3-4 months without sex, longer if need be, I don't care. I went 6almost 7 years before I met her, I can do it again. The only reason I ever even tried was to try and show her that I still want her, which I must admit is a struggle for me now. She has really let herself go, and I am not talking about her size, though she has gained A LOT of weight, I am talking about personal hygene, and basic things, like combing her hair. So I couldn't care less if we didn't have sex at all, and frankly right now, I don't want to. I find it almost impossible to be attracted to somebody, regardless of their looks, when their attitude is always so negative.

In regards to the anger thing, it started maybe a month after we got married. I think the major start for the issue was that her family has all been trying to convince her to leave me since we got together. The main reason is because when I met her she had been taking care of her entire family since she was 16. I mean providing food, paying the rent, taking care of medical stuff, so they could all keep getting high/drunk/etc... When we got together I finally convinced her to leave them behind, and start living her own life. Ever since I convinced her to stop taking care of them they have tried to run me off, even going so far as to file a false restraining order against me (her mother), even though about a month later her mother admitted IN COURT that she lied about it to get me away from her daughter.

In regards to the drugs they are very cheap, I think about 20 bucks a month, which is sooo not an issue. She refuses to take them because she says "she doesn't need them" and uses the money thing as an excuse as to why not get them. At one point I even went and bought them anyway, and she proceeded to flush them down the toilet and yell at me for a few hours because I "want her drugged so I can control her more".

My injury was origionaly supposed to be short-term, but at this point it is looking a bit more long term. To compound the issue my old employer is disputing that I was injured at work (which is crap), but I have hired a lawyer to help me, but he told me it can take years to resolve these things.

The biggest reason I deny sex when she does want it is because she doesn't use birth control (says she doesn't like the way it makes her feel), and condoms aren't 100%, as our first son prooves. And to be honest I don't think I want another kid right now, I don't even know if I want another one period, and the risk of it happening is too high for me. Plus at this point I don't even knw if we will be together to raise the one we have, and I refuse to bring another kid into the issue.

To be honest this week was actually okay, until today, when she accidently spilled a glass of juice all over me (and one of my stupid irrational peevs is to get liquids on me) and I barked at her for doing it, and her dad was here (visiting for 2 weeks from out of town). I went to take a shower to calm myself down, like I said... stupid irrational peev) and I let it go. She hasn't. Now she is at her sisters and won't talk to me because I yelled at her in front of her dad, and she would never have done that to me, which is BS because she has done it to me before. I think I have every right to get upset when something like that happens, I know I shouldn't have said anything in front of her dad, and I did apologize to her for it several times, but she won't let it go, and to be honest right now, I am not so sure I want her too.

I have no argument with her being upset about saying something in front of her dad, but if I would have done the same thing to her she would have gone ballistic, all I did was bark at her for knocking it over and tell her to give me a towel. I think it's a crap double standard to expect me to be okay with it but it's not okay when it happens to her. And mind you even though SHE knocked it over, it was MY fault because I put it there, I mean... who the hell puts their drink on a TABLE, how stupid of me.

I admit... right this minute I am having a hard time giving a crap anymore, I am sure later I will be calmer about it, but right now all I can think about is getting a 1 bedroom apartment and paying child-support. I would be lonely and alone again, like before, but at least I wouldn't be getting yelled at all the time.