DaisyJane56

Thanks for the replys. Leaving him has definately been on my mind and as far as the money goes.....Quite a while back, I took all his credit cards. He gave them to me without any arguments. Well little did I know, but he called the credit card companies and got another card sent out to him. His check is direct deposited into our personal account, but I hadn't thought about having him deposit it into an account that he has no access to. I'm pretty sure that if I suggest that he put his check into an account that is in my name only, he will not go for that in any way at all. I suggested the other day that we just have seperate accounts and we each be responsible for certain things to pay. That pissed him off. My best bet is probably just to end it with him and walk away.

My only concern is that if I walk away, because of where I live, everything will be split 50/50, which means the debt will also be split 50/50 and I will be responsible for it..at least half of it because my name is on all the credit cards. I think what I may do is draw up a contract that basically states if he screws up one more time, he will give me the house and pay all the expenses until we get divorced and sell the house and split any profits 50/50. I think I'll also make him be responsible for all the credit cards as well. We both go see this counselor once a month and we talk about his using and all. The contract was his idea a while back and we discussed it with the counselor. I will have him sign and date it in front of the counselor and have the counselor sign it as a witness. That way I'm covered if he tries to say he didn't sign it or that I co-erssed him into signing it.

Starting over at almost 52 years of age, is really depressing. WE've been married 15 years and that's 15 years waisted of my life....ugh.

As far as nar-anon, I've tried that. I didn't like it because they want you to basically be easy on the addict. It's like they think I should just sit by and do nothing and wait for him to decide to stop using. Plus they treat this as a disease, which I don't agree with. IMHO, it's a choice. Yes he is addicted to drugs, but he chose that life, it didn't chose him. He has a choice to beat it and fight it but he isn't fighting it as hard as he could or should. He goes through the motions, but that's it. I know that if he is to beat it, he's got to do everything and then some to beat it. He's got to put beating it first and foremost about everything else, and he's not done that yet. It's not a disease in my eyes. He didn't just become an addict without any of his own doing. He abused alcohol and drugs, and he became addicted physically to those drugs and alcohol. A disease, is something IMHO, that you get without looking for it. It just happens to you, you don't get to decide if you get cancer or some debilatating disease. The counselor he goes to also believes it's a choice not a disease. My husband even says its' a choice. He's going to have to take control over it and not let it control him. I just don't think I can stick around anymore and watch him destroy me right along with him.

Thanks again for the replys, I greatly appreciate it.