swedish

I think what people are comfortable with sharing varies from one person to the next and within a marriage their comfort zone should be respected as long as what they are keeping to themselves does not impact the marriage negatively (for example, hiding financial problems, etc.)

There are those that are comfortable enough to announce their bodily functions (I need to go #2 now or I have bad period cramps, etc) and others (like me) who keep those things personal. I am very uncomfortable talking about these things but if it will impact us as a couple I let my husband know in a way I am comfortable with "Tonight would be bad" etc. without getting graphic.

When it comes to sexual fantasies, I would place those in the same category. If it's simply a fantasy and there is no desire to ever make it any more than that, I don't see any need to divulge it to my spouse. I don't have any desire to have him show up in a fabio wig, really. Ok, I really don't have that fantasy but you get my point. Talking about these things might bring you closer together and might give you some creative ideas to try (hubby and I have done this to some extent), but they may also may you feel insecure in some ways that you aren't enough (hear it over and over from women who find their husbands looking at porn)

So I guess I view this as a grey area and err to the side of respecting my husband's comfort level on what he shares with me. I also let him know why I'm asking but will still respect his privacy if he's not comfortable sharing.