i think youre right anotheryear.
i need to be honest with both and i have an opportunity to do that within the next 3-4 weeks when i see them both face to face... on different occasions
its just how to go about it all. start with the wife or the gf...?
logic says wife cause she's most important. she's also the one that would be most understanding and accommodating and wiser of the two... and can maybe help me/us work through this. she's been there for me through personal weirdness before so i have faith i this converstaion as well.
or.. i can start the conversation/fireworks/royal rumble with gf because she will probably be the most shocked and react the most unpredictably (she's half my wifes age)... if she is ok with having fun and still being with me as friends or part-time lovers or open marriage and all, then its cool for now and i can reset myself to still talk to my wife about things rationally and not out of panic.
but if gf isnt cool with me and leaves, at least i know where i'm at 100% before learning my lesson, sitting down with my wife and telling her everything thats been going on since she gave me the 'green light' to go date others.
should be fun!