Quote:
Originally Posted by morticia1217
I always heard about men not being turned on when their wives gained weight and I thought it was awful and that they should love them for themselves not what they look like. However, my husband has gained at least 75 lbs. since we have gotten married and it disgusts me to look at him. He is not active because of the weight and lets face it, the stomach is so big he cannot get into all positions. His face has dissapeared into a mound of fat. He has a lot of medical conditions that the doctors tell him would be eliminated or a whole lot better if he lost weight. I knew on our honeymoon (16 years ago) that he had a problem when he was more interested in where we were going to eat next than sex. Also he was so sweet until the honeymoon. I fell in love the man he pretended to be, not the man I found out he was after marriage. I have stayed because I just did not want to start over and the longer you stay, the harder it is to leave. We were in our early 40s and did not want another failure. I cannot believe I have spilled all this out.
|
First I think it is normal for to not feel attracted to your husband with the weight gain there. To say you feel disgusted when looking at him sounds a bit harsh though. I would be willing to go out on a limb and say there are other issues that are adding to your disgust. Have you spoken to him about the his weight? When my wife has shown interst in losing weight, I would encourage her by cooking meals. She was on the weight watchers plan, and I would measure her proportions. Being supportive and helping out goes a long way to encourage a change.
I think the more important issue here is when you said you felt lied to about the man he pretended to be. How much anger to you have from this? How was he before, and what has changed?