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Originally Posted by java  My emotional insecurities are growing and making him nuts. I have a therapist I see on a regular basis but what do I do in between sessions when I feel insecure, depressed, jealous, and mistrusting? He has never given me a reason to mistrust him. I am usually the one in other relationships that seeks to have my emotional void filled by someone else if my spouse isn’t doing it. I don’t want to do anything wrong, hurt him, etc. I just can’t get passed my own horrible inner feelings that haunt me constantly. Is he doing something wrong? Talking to someone? What is he doing on the computer? It’s killing me, my nerves are shot and I am an emotional wreck. When I briefly get over these feelings for a week or so we are so close together….but then the feelings come back when he is busy or distracted and I begin wondering again, questioning everything and then it pushes him away. I am driving both of us crazy. 
I am tired of feeling down and so totally insecure about who I am, if he loves me, is he searching for something else. My growing insecurities are ruining our relationship and if I don’t get a handle on myself, my feelings, insecurities, and soon, we are never going to make it.
Please help! What has worked for anyone else? |
So tell me this, how does your husband treat you? What does he do to make you feel special, loved, and especially what does he do to make you feel that to him you are sexually attractive?
Know this, sexual attraction and emotional connection are intertwined between the man and the woman in a relationship, there is not one without the other.
You ask what has worked for anyone else.
I will tell you what the one thing is that does work, and that is for the good man to not neglect his responsibility to let his woman know she is desired, loved, and secure in the relationship.
This is most likely a relationship issue, that your man is probably neglecting his responsibility to show you how he feels with you.
Stop beating yourself up over this as if there is something wrong with you, you are reacting perfectly normal in this situation, and doing what it is you should be doing, which is giving your man the "wake up call".
Instead, be very clear, not angry but serious, in communications to your man that this issue, how you are feeling insecure, but instead do not word it as there is something YOU need, instead word it as something the RELATIONSHIP is needing.
This is putting the focus not on making you feel bad about yourself as if you were "broken", but instead to put yourself and your man as partners to repair together the relationship.
I wish you well.
