Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

anotheryear · 07-23-2008, 03:57 PM

I'd start with the girlfriend because then you know what you have to tell the wife...it is over or it's not with the girl (I'm assuming you aren't considering leaving your wife even if the girl gives you a "me or her" ultimatum).

On the wife--I think if I were in her shoes (I'm 42) and dating/marrying a younger man, I'd feel a lot of guilt about what I was taking from him--the opportunity for kids or just to be with someone younger. So I could see that being a reason for being open with letting you find someone else. But underneath, I think it would still really hurt if he acted on it. I'd be hoping he wouldn't. I could be wrong. Maybe she is just REALLY secure or sees relationships that way. But I'd watch closely for any hidden hurt reaction over it.

07-23-2008, 03:57 PM	#10 (permalink)
anotheryear Registered User Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 14	Re: wife + girlfriend = help?! I'd start with the girlfriend because then you know what you have to tell the wife...it is over or it's not with the girl (I'm assuming you aren't considering leaving your wife even if the girl gives you a "me or her" ultimatum). On the wife--I think if I were in her shoes (I'm 42) and dating/marrying a younger man, I'd feel a lot of guilt about what I was taking from him--the opportunity for kids or just to be with someone younger. So I could see that being a reason for being open with letting you find someone else. But underneath, I think it would still really hurt if he acted on it. I'd be hoping he wouldn't. I could be wrong. Maybe she is just REALLY secure or sees relationships that way. But I'd watch closely for any hidden hurt reaction over it.