Quote:
Originally Posted by justean
ok, start with this then, what information do you actually want from her , we can go from there.
on a personal level i dont care about what my hubby did when we split up, or who he did things with. obviously its nice to know what he did when he was younger. but they are things, that are that, they are that persons past. when my hubby met me, that became our future. when we split up, i accepted when he met other women, we were that split up.
ok i admit of course it came up later, what doesnt, but things are said in jest rather than hurtful ways. but life in general is about your kids, relationships, holidays, time together. u really have to find that balance.
i sincerely think the information you want , is simply not required. some memories she may have , just may not be appropriate.
just an example - my mother in law is 78, she had a horrendous up bringing. only child . she absoultely hates christmas. as a child growing up on a farm, it wasnt christmas it was slaughter time , because ppl were wanting their christmas meats. from that early age , she was expected to kill them herself and watch her father.
ask her about her past, she really doesnt want to think about it.
i know is not her past - but the more you push it, you could actually cause more problems, because you wont let go.
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Well to be perfectly honest I think this issue started with knowing more about her life outside of the house. She is a hair stylist, and she has a lot of people that she talks to at work. She wasn't open to sharing much about that. Then it moved on to intimate thoughts on sex. She said she never thought about it, which took me a really long time to understand. Then it kind of just morphed into where we are now. She doesn't open up about anything in part because I pushed so much.
I guess I would like to know more about her life at work. I know there are relationships she has had with people that either worked close to her, or with her that she didn't want to share with me. I just want to get to the point to where if I ask something she will either tell me about it, or tell me that she would rather not tell me. She just dodges the questions I ask now.