Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

DaisyJane56 · 07-23-2008, 05:36 PM

A week or so ago, I posted about my husband being an addict. If you want to read the history, the post is called My Marriage-No Trust.

As I've said, my husband is an addict and right now he's clean and going to counseling. The last time he screwed up, I told him I would give him this one last chance and if he screwed up again I would file for divorce and leave him. Well so far he's clean, he sees this counselor 3 times a week and then once a month we both go see the counselor. On occassion I do talk to the counselor about my husband and what is going on with him.

Well a week or so ago, my husband told the counselor he was worried about me. He told the guy that I'm moody and since i had a hystertecmy a year ago, I do not take any hormones because of a breast cancer history in my family. My mother had breast cancer 11 years ago and is a suvivor, my grandma, her mother, also had breast cancer and died from cancer. I have several aunts and a cousin who have all died from breast cancer on my mothers side. The type of cancer my mom had was what they call ERPR-Positive which means her cancer fed off of estrogen. which is why the doctors have told me to never take hormones. So I don't. I have also had two biopsy's, one in each breast which have both been okay, but the cancer facility I go to..MD Anderson....all the doctors there have told me to never take any hormone replacement therapy and not to even take the all natural hormones because it's the hormones that could possibly cause me to get breast cancer. Well actually if I get breast cancer (it will be because I am going to get it), but the hormones would or could put me in a higher risk catagory.

Anyhow....this counselor has told my husband I should take the all natural hormones and now my husband thinks I should too. I've told him I will not take them and that's that. Well today, I talked to the counselor because I've been feeling as though i just can't be in this marriage anymore. I love my husband but I'm not sure I am IN love with him anymore. All the lies, and deceit from him taking money from our accounts, and charging on our credit cards to get cash out of the credit cards...I've just had enough..ya know? Just recently my husband took over 200 dollars from our checking account and didn't tell me. I figured it out when I went on line to check our balance. When I confronted him about it, he gets mad at me and tells me I need to chill out.

Yes, I probably am a bit moody, but only around him. Everyone else in my life I am happy when I am around them. I find myself not wanting to come home and not wanting to do anything with him. His actions over the years have caused me to fall out of love with him and I just want to make a new start. But I did promise him that I would stick it out and give him one last chance to beat this addiciton. Trouble is....I just don't know if i can fight anymore for this marriage. I don't want to fight...I want to throw in the towel and move on.

Today I talked to the counselor and he too said that I might feel better if I took the hormones......are you kidding me? they both want me to get in a better mood and put my health at risk. If my husband hadn't cheated on me with drugs and lies....I don't feel i would be feeling this bad and wanting out of the marriage. I just don't trust him anymore. I honestly don't think he's going to beat this addiction. He will be an addict the rest of his life and there wil always be a chance that he can scew up and take something. This counselor has been saying all along that I have good reason to feel the way i do and he has even told this to my husband. Now my husband and he are telling me that I have a problem and I'm moody.

After my hysterectomy, I felt soooo much better mentally. Even my husband said I'm on a more even keel now since the hysterectomy. Now he's saying I'm moody. I honestly don't feel that I am moody, I feel down and depressed because I'm in a marriage that I don't feel is what it should be. I have no trust in my marriage....if you don't have trust, how can you have love?

Is this my hormones....or my marriage? Should I stay and wait until he screws up again? or should I just cut my loses and walk now? I just don't know what to do.

07-23-2008, 05:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
DaisyJane56 Registered User Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 7	Is it my hormones or my marriage? A week or so ago, I posted about my husband being an addict. If you want to read the history, the post is called My Marriage-No Trust. As I've said, my husband is an addict and right now he's clean and going to counseling. The last time he screwed up, I told him I would give him this one last chance and if he screwed up again I would file for divorce and leave him. Well so far he's clean, he sees this counselor 3 times a week and then once a month we both go see the counselor. On occassion I do talk to the counselor about my husband and what is going on with him. Well a week or so ago, my husband told the counselor he was worried about me. He told the guy that I'm moody and since i had a hystertecmy a year ago, I do not take any hormones because of a breast cancer history in my family. My mother had breast cancer 11 years ago and is a suvivor, my grandma, her mother, also had breast cancer and died from cancer. I have several aunts and a cousin who have all died from breast cancer on my mothers side. The type of cancer my mom had was what they call ERPR-Positive which means her cancer fed off of estrogen. which is why the doctors have told me to never take hormones. So I don't. I have also had two biopsy's, one in each breast which have both been okay, but the cancer facility I go to..MD Anderson....all the doctors there have told me to never take any hormone replacement therapy and not to even take the all natural hormones because it's the hormones that could possibly cause me to get breast cancer. Well actually if I get breast cancer (it will be because I am going to get it), but the hormones would or could put me in a higher risk catagory. Anyhow....this counselor has told my husband I should take the all natural hormones and now my husband thinks I should too. I've told him I will not take them and that's that. Well today, I talked to the counselor because I've been feeling as though i just can't be in this marriage anymore. I love my husband but I'm not sure I am IN love with him anymore. All the lies, and deceit from him taking money from our accounts, and charging on our credit cards to get cash out of the credit cards...I've just had enough..ya know? Just recently my husband took over 200 dollars from our checking account and didn't tell me. I figured it out when I went on line to check our balance. When I confronted him about it, he gets mad at me and tells me I need to chill out. Yes, I probably am a bit moody, but only around him. Everyone else in my life I am happy when I am around them. I find myself not wanting to come home and not wanting to do anything with him. His actions over the years have caused me to fall out of love with him and I just want to make a new start. But I did promise him that I would stick it out and give him one last chance to beat this addiciton. Trouble is....I just don't know if i can fight anymore for this marriage. I don't want to fight...I want to throw in the towel and move on. Today I talked to the counselor and he too said that I might feel better if I took the hormones......are you kidding me? they both want me to get in a better mood and put my health at risk. If my husband hadn't cheated on me with drugs and lies....I don't feel i would be feeling this bad and wanting out of the marriage. I just don't trust him anymore. I honestly don't think he's going to beat this addiction. He will be an addict the rest of his life and there wil always be a chance that he can scew up and take something. This counselor has been saying all along that I have good reason to feel the way i do and he has even told this to my husband. Now my husband and he are telling me that I have a problem and I'm moody. After my hysterectomy, I felt soooo much better mentally. Even my husband said I'm on a more even keel now since the hysterectomy. Now he's saying I'm moody. I honestly don't feel that I am moody, I feel down and depressed because I'm in a marriage that I don't feel is what it should be. I have no trust in my marriage....if you don't have trust, how can you have love? Is this my hormones....or my marriage? Should I stay and wait until he screws up again? or should I just cut my loses and walk now? I just don't know what to do.