stumped

Ok so some of you have probably already read part of my story....so here is some more.

I havent been bringing up our relationship a whole lot on advice from people, basically because you dont want to beat a dead horse and when it gets brought up I tend to be the one getting hurt.

I did bring it up about 2 weeks ago because I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't nasty or mean we didnt yell or fight we actually both cried. But these are the things he is telling me....he thinks I am a great and wonderful person, I am his best friend, he doesnt hate me he never could but he doesnt want to be married anymore. He says he is happiest alone he enjoys sleeping alone he says that he sleeps better and gets up easier on his own. He told me that he thinks I deserve better but he cant tell me why and everytime I asked him what the problems are he responds with "I dont Know" I must have heard that 50 times. He also told me that he hasnt been happy for over 4 years! When I asked him why he hadnt told his family he said it was none of their business and he didnt need to hear them tell him what a dumb ass he is being. He said my Mom is just going to cry. He also goes through these self loathing periods where he says he has no friends (which isnt true) and that he is stupid etc.

I told him that they only definitive answer I could come up with that was a big problem was my weight and he agreed that is a big problem for him but that isnt it. Yet he couldnt tell me what the other things are. He also said that our sex life was lacking which I will agree that it wasnt everyday but no where near as bad as some of the stories I have seen on here. But in my opinion sex is a two way street....I am always the initiator. I have never turned him down if he wanted to have sex...but he also didnt try to initiate it very often. When we talked about it I said that we have sex at least 1-2 times a week and he siad it was more like 1-2 times every two weeks. I never wrote it down and kept track of it...so maybe I am delusional but I cant see my sex drive being ok with 1-2 times every two weeks. Regardless I wasnt going to argue with him about it because like I said I didnt have proof one way or the other.

The day we had this talk he also didnt wear his wedding ring to work and he made a comment about it when he got home that he had forgot to put it on (he takes it off to sleep). I told him I noticed that morning he wasnt wearing it and he asked why I didnt say anything. I told him I thought he didnt want to wear it so I wasnt going to bring it up. He then told me he also didnt want people asking questions. I asked if that was the only reason why he was wearing it was to avoid questions and he said Yes. So I told him if that was the only reason he was wearing it to not wear it, and he hasnt worn it since.

The following morning I decided to head out of town to family for a few days so I wrote him a letter telling him how much I loved him, that if he was 100% certain he didnt want to work things out I would stop fighting, that he needed to tell his family because I cant keep putting acting like everyhting is ok with them, that he needs to figure out the answers to the "I dont knows" because I deserve that much and I took my rings off and left them with the letter.

When he found out I wasnt at work he called my cell phone asking me where I was I told him I was heading to my parents. I asked him if he needed something or if he was just calling because I wasnt at work and he said because he found out I wasnt at work...he said he wanted to make sure I wasnt doing anything stupid. Then he asked if I was coming back or staying down there...I told him I would be back on Sunday and asked him if he wanted me to stay down there he said No. He told me to have a safe trip and have a good time.

Then he called me that night for no reason (according to a friend he already read the letter I wrote because he mentioned to him that I left a letter) he just wanted to tell me about something silly, I didnt answer because I was out so I called him back on saturday. He then called me Sunday to find out what time I was heading home and told me to call him when I was on my way home, which I did. He then called me again when I was about an hour from home just to check on me and see if I had hit the storm etc. etc.

On Wednesday we went out of state for his "hobby" he races (we will just leave it at that) and we got along fine no issues but we slept in seperate beds at the hotel. I helped him all weekend and he actually he said please and thank you more over those 5 days then I had heard in the last two years. I did tell him that on the way home as well and told him it was nice. Got home Monday afternoon...I told him I was going out to dinner and then coming home to watch a movie...he asked what time I thought I was going to be watching the movie because he wanted to watch it as well. So when I got home we watched a movie together then went to bed. Then last night we ate dinner together, I reminded him we were out of detergent so he went out to get it (which he NEVER does). He bought himself a new Bedding set..more manly he said. I suggested that he wash the sheets so I was helping him with the fabric softner and stuff told him to make sure he rinses out the cap so the detergent doesnt drip down the bottle cause that irritates me (I am a little ocd) and he says "ummm how long do you plan on living here"...my look of shock must have come accross loud and clear because he quickly tried to back track.

I feel like we are room mates now because there is no intimacy. We still get along and dont fight but I feel like I am his PT wife...I still do the cleaning, pay the bills etc. He is doing his own laundry now...even though if I dont have a full load I will offer to throw some of his stuff in with mine. So what do I do???? There is another race coming up in a few weeks and I did tell him I was not going which he just responded with "ok" to. I told him that I needed to start transitioning myself out of his life. (I told him this on Monday on our way Home)

I am so completely confused right now I have no idea what to do...anyone have any thoughts?

Sorry this is so long =(