AZMOMOFTWO

I think you need to start building a life for yourself without him. I don't mean leave him or move out. He seems to connect back with you when you do that. Maybe he thinks you are too dependant upon him and its actually attractive to him when you are independant. What I mean is make plans without him but don't be mean about it (which you aren't) and if he ASKS to join then let him but don't initiate his joining. I think you should not go to the next race, you already informed him so he is not counting on you and leave it at that. But make some plans for that day. I just did this with my husband last weekend. I was irked he didn't ask me to stay since it was my birthday but I took the kids Saturday afternoon just out. No plans. They both had Toys R Us gift certificates so I took them shopping, I had a clothing gift certificate so I shopped, then we went to dinner and on a whim a movie. We finished at 11pm and had plans to stay over night at my folks house who were out of town. We got to the house and watched a movie and crashed, he never called. I didn't call him either. The next morning I got up and found two text messages from him. Silly stuff but this was a good sign. I answered them both, he continued to text. I answered all but never called. We swam all day (I'm toasty burned too) and then my parents came home so we went to dinner with them and came home that night at 7pm. I had a fabulous time with my kids and got my mind off my problems, although he did not admit it the texting told me he missed me. Three things accomplished, I got my mind off things and had a good time, I spent quality time with my children, and I showed independance. I think it was a very good thing. Remember that it is your house, who says you have to move out? If you do decide to split up, then you do get half the house. He can leave or you can sell it and split the profits so you can find another place.