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AZMOMOFTWO · 07-24-2008, 06:55 AM

I don't know if this is hopeless and if its not, I have no idea what to do...my husband tells me that he loves me but its not the same and he is unhappy. Do I make you unhappy? His answer "well no but you don't make me happy". What would make you happy I asked, a separation, divorce, moving out, dating, he says he doesn't know. When I ask him does he want to work on the marriage he said honestly right now no. I'm too drained. I asked if he wanted to move out, no, ok how about me, no. I kind of think that's due to fear of change not necessarily wanting to be married. So I said do you want to save the marriage and he said 60% no / 40% yes. Something died in me tonight. Right now I am feeling like I deserve more than that so maybe its time to move on. If he says he doesn't want to work on the marriage then what? He says he doesn't want to exist the way we are now, so no action at all will mean things as they are now. I even suggested that for a month, we not discuss these issues and live for the moment. I got no answer on that one. So how can you do nothing, I mean even nothing is doing something. Its 4am and I haven't slept or ate all day, so I am not sure how long I can do this .... We sleep in the same bed still .. I think I am now starting to fall out of love or is that just going numb to protect myself. My oldest child has picked up on this and she has asked questions so the emotional support is all on me. She writes me notes, I share them with my husband and I don't even know if he cares. I think he does but if we're both her parents why am I carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Why would he do this to me? I don't even know what I am asking and I don't know what to do. I just want to feel better.

07-24-2008, 06:55 AM	#1 (permalink)
AZMOMOFTWO Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 304	Is it hopeless? I don't know if this is hopeless and if its not, I have no idea what to do...my husband tells me that he loves me but its not the same and he is unhappy. Do I make you unhappy? His answer "well no but you don't make me happy". What would make you happy I asked, a separation, divorce, moving out, dating, he says he doesn't know. When I ask him does he want to work on the marriage he said honestly right now no. I'm too drained. I asked if he wanted to move out, no, ok how about me, no. I kind of think that's due to fear of change not necessarily wanting to be married. So I said do you want to save the marriage and he said 60% no / 40% yes. Something died in me tonight. Right now I am feeling like I deserve more than that so maybe its time to move on. If he says he doesn't want to work on the marriage then what? He says he doesn't want to exist the way we are now, so no action at all will mean things as they are now. I even suggested that for a month, we not discuss these issues and live for the moment. I got no answer on that one. So how can you do nothing, I mean even nothing is doing something. Its 4am and I haven't slept or ate all day, so I am not sure how long I can do this .... We sleep in the same bed still .. I think I am now starting to fall out of love or is that just going numb to protect myself. My oldest child has picked up on this and she has asked questions so the emotional support is all on me. She writes me notes, I share them with my husband and I don't even know if he cares. I think he does but if we're both her parents why am I carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Why would he do this to me? I don't even know what I am asking and I don't know what to do. I just want to feel better.