Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - 20 Plus Years, very happy husband writes...

MEM11363 · 01-15-2010, 09:43 AM

Limiting the amount of times I say "I love you".
I ABSOLUTELY DO THE EXACT SAME THING. AND BELIEVE THIS IS PART OF THE REASON WIFE IS SO CRAZY ABOUT ME.

OVER LOVING someone is a certain train wreck. You cannot value something that is in over supply.

And yes this means I bite my tongue/exert some self control to keep a little more emotional space between us then there would be otherwise. This is not a GAME it is a STRATEGY. It is part of keeping the passion high in a LTR.

As for doing loving things - YES - over time women love men of action more then men of words.

But I make sure there is enough space between us - to let her come to me. When she does I respond. So she is not insecure. But I am not all over her all the time. No one likes that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBadWolf

I am trying to notice what things I have done over the years, myabe that are not too common, but that are working very effectively in my marriage.

I will include these from time to time as they may be helpful to others.

For this post, wanting to share that actions speak louder than words. Here is what I do.

Limiting the number of time I say "I love you". Instead of saying this constantly, maybe a few times a day at most, but always at least once, instead I try to bite my tongue, and instead DO SOMETHING instead to show how I feel to my wife.

For example, to see her walk into the room, or I walk into a room that she is in, instead of just the usual saying "I love you", instead I will stop what I am doing to acknowledge her, wink at her, give her a look "up and down", swat her behind, etc. The point is, something physical, but regardless to always do someting to show the "love", and especially the privelege of the relationship with her is acknowledged.

Also when my wife tells me "I love you", I do not always just repeat and respond, as if this is a habit. Instead sometimes I will just nod my head in agreement (this is provocative to her and will usually make her playfully aggressive with me), or simply wink at her, or sometimes even say something also throwing her a "curve ball" like "You'd better love me girl".

The point is, to avoid just repeating the words and letting them lose their luster, instead to do and show in these other ways. Also the times I do say "I love you" my wife is noticing and knowing it is special and not just spoken out of habit.

Also listening is important, but even to notice if she is mentioning something, to make sure I find ways to DO SOMETHING acknowledging this.

For example, my wife mentioned some time in the past during a casual conversation that she is wanting to try this new product. So last week I am at the store and I purchase this product for her, and she is amazed that I am not only listening, but ACTING on what she is saying, even in something so small is a big opportunity for communication.

These are just some things to show that the action speaks louder than words, and maybe are helpful to others.