DaisyJane56

Thanks Kaine and nidal. Kaine, you're right it's not the addiction that is the problem. It's all that goes with the addiction...ie..lies, deceit, and sneaking around doing things behind my back that basically effect me as well as him. I've talked to him many times and told him I would support him and be there for him/with him as long as he's making an effort to stay clean. For me now, it's just that I see him trying right now, but he's tried before..many times before. So in my mind, I honestly don't know if this is just like all the other times or if this time will be the one where he wins the battle over addiction. But how many times or chances should I give him?

nidal....I've told him over and over that I loved him and that he is the most wonderful man when he's sober. I've told him he's perfect when he's sober. Even his counselor asked him if he is happy with me and does he do the drugs so that i will walk away and out of his life. My husband told the counselor that I'm a perfect wife and that he loves me more than anything or anyone in his life and that he couldn't live without me. the counselor told me that he thought maybe my husband wanted a way out of the marriage but after talking to my husband, he just doesn't understand why he keeps using drugs when he (my husband) knows he could lose me. None of us get it....even his own family has told him to do what he has to do and get and stay clean. His father told him, "Whatever you do, don't lose that girl." His own son told him that if he continues to use, then he will walk out of his life and never speak to him again. His son lives along ways away from us and he calls me all the time to see how I am doing. His sister told me that if i have to ever leave him and need a place to stay, I can go live with them.

We've all had talks with him and we've all told him we would support him, but he's got to at least make an effort. Well when he first stops using, he will work really hard on the program, and do exactly what he's suppose to do. But then after about 2 or 3 weeks, he quits working so hard on the program. Right now he's been clean for about 5 weeks, and he's slacking off in the program. he's suppose to do something every day for at least an hour on his addiction, but he doesn't do anything except go see the counselor now on the weekends. Through the week, he's doing nothing, which leads me to believe he's headed for another slip up.

I know addicts (of any kind, whether it be drugs, alcohol, porn, whatever the addiction) need support from the ones who love them. They need to know that we love them and will be there for them. However; my question is this: How many times do you allow them to screw up and fall off the wagon before you finally say...enough is enough? You see....I'm almost at the point to where I feel enough is enough. And it hurts me and I hate that I feel this way, but he's caused me to feel this way by his actions, by his lies and deciept. So how much more do I have to take, how much more should I take?