Amplexor

Forgiveness of one’s spouse after an affair is a difficult thing to accomplish. I assume the affair happened about 6 months ago. It would not be unusual for him to take lots of time in coming to terms in all of this. From my view point the two of you are doing all the right things. Counseling is a huge step. Your husband is asking for space and for the sake of the marriage you may have to give him some. Separations sometimes help but more often then not, they signal the end of the marriage. I’m sorry. It makes me hopeful that he states he still loves you and it sounds as if he has gotten over his resentfulness. It was his behavior that partially drove you to seek comfort in another but you are at fault for taking that relationship too far. It is unlikely he is ready to accept that he must change his behavior to make you happy. He likely views himself as the victim here. You are in somewhat of a Catch 22. You need time together to rebuild that friendship he says is missing but he wants time away from you to sort things out. My best advice would be to be strong and keep your emotions in check. The tighter you try to hold him the more he will pull away. Be confident and tell him you love him and want to do all you can to help the marriage through this. To become friends again you’ll need to spend time together. At this point family activities might be the best option. Spend a day at the zoo, amusement park, beach… as a family. Try to get some quality time at home with just the three of you. Board games, toss a Frisbee….. If you can be cordial and get a long together this will also help your son feel better and more secure and the two of you can start to rebuild your friendship. This will likely take lots of time so prepare yourself for the long haul. You are in a difficult situation so keep a steady hand and head about you. The two of you are already doing a lot of things right. Good luck.

__________________
Amp

Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.