| | Re: hopeless or not
Sounds like the damage was done with the infidelity, but you gave it your best effort to make it up to her. Sometimes a spouse will feel that they have lost loving feelings through the hurt and smothering, but they infact still love you. I think you both just need to get into a very good counselor ASAP. Don't be afraid to "shop" for a good one by calling on the phone.
Sorry you are going through such torment. If you can swing it it might be helpful to keep a personal counselor for yourself (sounds like you might already have one) and seek one separate for the two of you. That is what I am doing to help my marriage, to get stronger myself and then one for us as a couple.