Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

NightOwl · 02-03-2010, 01:42 PM

Anxiety is very manageable with cognitive behavioral therapy and lifestyle changes like sleeping enough and exercising, for most people. But your wife needs to be willing to get help and that can be the hard part, for both of you.

Personally, I have generalized and social anxiety, but I am adamant that my partner should not have to suffer because of it. He dealt with a few months of me having panic attacks a lot a few years ago, and that was enough to get me in therapy. Now I manage with therapy, exercise, and an herbal relaxation tea called kava for "emergencies."

Untreated, anxiety generally just gets worse as the patterns get more and more ingrained. This can lead to rigid and even paranoid thinking, obsessions (i.e. with cleanliness, routine, and order - this is related to OCD), being short tempered, and health problems related to stress.

I highly recommend that you approach this as an issue that affects both of you, rather than it being your wife's problem solely. My partner needed to learn how to respond to me when I am anxious - listening carefully, being patient and reassuring, and knowing what to expect with panic attacks. Now he is my best defense against an attack because he works with me.

All that said...a lot of times fear of change is part of the anxiety so your wife may resist treatment. Hopefully if it is affecting her quality of life she will be willing to get help. However if she refuses to acknowledge the problem, it is like any other mental illness, it can really degrade relationships over time. Again, as someone who has anxiety, if I had refused treatment I think my partner would have been totally justified to tell me to get treatment or he'd leave. That's because it is such a manageable condition once you have help, there is no reason to suffer and make others suffer as well.

02-03-2010, 01:42 PM	#6 (permalink)
NightOwl Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 45	Re: my wife anxiety is driving me crazy! Anxiety is very manageable with cognitive behavioral therapy and lifestyle changes like sleeping enough and exercising, for most people. But your wife needs to be willing to get help and that can be the hard part, for both of you. Personally, I have generalized and social anxiety, but I am adamant that my partner should not have to suffer because of it. He dealt with a few months of me having panic attacks a lot a few years ago, and that was enough to get me in therapy. Now I manage with therapy, exercise, and an herbal relaxation tea called kava for "emergencies." Untreated, anxiety generally just gets worse as the patterns get more and more ingrained. This can lead to rigid and even paranoid thinking, obsessions (i.e. with cleanliness, routine, and order - this is related to OCD), being short tempered, and health problems related to stress. I highly recommend that you approach this as an issue that affects both of you, rather than it being your wife's problem solely. My partner needed to learn how to respond to me when I am anxious - listening carefully, being patient and reassuring, and knowing what to expect with panic attacks. Now he is my best defense against an attack because he works with me. All that said...a lot of times fear of change is part of the anxiety so your wife may resist treatment. Hopefully if it is affecting her quality of life she will be willing to get help. However if she refuses to acknowledge the problem, it is like any other mental illness, it can really degrade relationships over time. Again, as someone who has anxiety, if I had refused treatment I think my partner would have been totally justified to tell me to get treatment or he'd leave. That's because it is such a manageable condition once you have help, there is no reason to suffer and make others suffer as well.