draconis

Quote:has put me down by telling me I'm just like her ex abusive

From a psychological stand point what you have said of her makes sense. 50% of people who endure pysical or mental abuse have some sort of trama, and around 25% act simular to those that abused them even if not to the same degree. Thus a father that beats his son the son will be more likely to beat his children. The explanation is simple they had lost control and use the cycle of abuse to feel like they have control by taking it away from someone else.

Quote:she's the perfect girl , a great mother , works hard as hell and is alway's on the go either cleaning , cooking , shopping .. etc .. she pretty much does everything without asking for help , and me , being male .. lets it happen , I sit here on this damn computer all day ( I work nights she works day's ) while she is working , I'm caring for the kids ( as much as I know how ) . with no , or very little complaint from the wife .. basically .. I'm lazy .. and I know I am ..

However, You point out she has many good merits. A hard worker, good mother does lots around the house. You admit to doing little around the house and being less then spectaculare of a father. Times have changed if she is working as much as you you should be doing half the house work. That is fair. At the very least you should shoot to become the best father in the world and settle for doing the best you can. What you don't know about parenting you ought to do everything in the world to learn. There is NOTHING more important then your kids.

draconis