| | Is it him or me? (lengthy-ish)
We were best friends in the beginning, now it feels like we don't know eachother at all. We've somehow reached a stage where we either don't talk about anything other than the mundane or were just arguing and blaming eachother.
We've got a young son together and recently marred. We've been together for over 2 years with no breaks in between. I want nothing more than for us to all be a happy faimly. It just feels like I do all the hard stuff and he does just the bare minimum. He does cook more often than I and pays majority of the bills when they are due; sometimes later if finances are scarce.
I feed and bathe our son and put him to bed most nights. He does cook majority of the time and I clean. Everything. laundry, pick up the house, dishes, bathrooms. From the moment I get off of work until it's done. Meanwhile, squeezing in dinner for our son and bathing him, getting him ready for bed; all after working a 9-hour day. He does spend time with our son, but it seems like only to play and goof around. This past weekend he actually took him out running the town while I caught a movie with my sister. It was a nice time. I am in no way battering his parenting skills; he is a good father and loves our boy.
My thoughts are scrambled in my head, but I'm trying to order them in a way that a normal human being can understand... It's almost as if he assumes hardly any adult responsibility in our relationship. He says I can talk to him no matter what. But when i do it just sparks an arguement. He feels I'm not affectionate enough. Which I agree with. But at the end of the day when work is done, chores are done and baby is sleeping, im so frustrated from doing it all by myself that i don't even have the desire to be intimate with him. I don't want him to help me clean, I want him to pick up after himself - like an adult - so that i don't have piles of dishes and piles of laundry to do everyday. I have told him this, in not as many words, and nothing has changed. I feel like I'm the only parent/adult in this relationship. He feels just the opposite.
His mood changes with the direction of the wind and I don't always know how to deal with it. And when I stay silent, or tell him i don't know what to say, he feels im 'disconnected' and pushing him away. He makes me feel like I don't belong in my own family sometimes. When he's real heated he dares me with 'there's the door' and it just makes me sad... I'm starting to resent him; how do I reverse this feeling?? Am I wrong?