Looking for some outside opinions on my situation. I am newly single in a very amicable split from my ex after being separated for almost 2 years ontop of an 18 year marriage. I dated several woman in the first year following the breakup, with the experience of ending some relationships by my choice and some not. My marriage never included infidelity on either side and I guess we are one of the few couples who actually grew apart and felt we wanted different lives.
I met Mary one year ago. An instant connection that I have never felt before with anyone including my wife. We spent the first night talking about our lives and fact she was going through a separation and still living with her husband. I did not see any red flags because I was in same situation due to parental and financial reasons for a time after my own separation. Her marriage was riddled with her husband's infidelity that included two long-term affairs. She explained she would never be able to get over the second one that she found out about 3 months before we met.
Within a week of meeting, we began to openly date and I thought all was ok and that she would be leaving soon. Her husband, although not happy, acknowledged that she was moving on. However, after three months her husband did a 180 degree turn and begged for her forgiveness. She claimed she was not emotionally ready to grieve her marriage, which is difficult to understand given she is a child therapist. Her husband began to make her life impossible demanding her whereabouts, cell phone bills, etc and that she end it. With threats ranging from harming himself to constantly telling her how guilty she should be for giving up on their children. We decided to proceed as an affair as at this point, which i know was mistake, but I was totally in love and as she claims to be. Now I must add, she has overcome the most traumatic of childhoods, the kind you might see in a lifetime movie. Her husband was the only man she has ever been with besides me and has controlled her her whole life and I believe breaking from that process might be a long-term proposition (if ever).
I am still in this situation and for some reason have been totally unable to walk away. Not looking for validation, but because this started as a true open loving relationship I don't believe it has to suffer same fate as "once a cheater always a cheater" or "starts as affair never ends well".
I met Mary one year ago. An instant connection that I have never felt before with anyone including my wife. We spent the first night talking about our lives and fact she was going through a separation and still living with her husband. I did not see any red flags because I was in same situation due to parental and financial reasons for a time after my own separation. Her marriage was riddled with her husband's infidelity that included two long-term affairs. She explained she would never be able to get over the second one that she found out about 3 months before we met.
Within a week of meeting, we began to openly date and I thought all was ok and that she would be leaving soon. Her husband, although not happy, acknowledged that she was moving on. However, after three months her husband did a 180 degree turn and begged for her forgiveness. She claimed she was not emotionally ready to grieve her marriage, which is difficult to understand given she is a child therapist. Her husband began to make her life impossible demanding her whereabouts, cell phone bills, etc and that she end it. With threats ranging from harming himself to constantly telling her how guilty she should be for giving up on their children. We decided to proceed as an affair as at this point, which i know was mistake, but I was totally in love and as she claims to be. Now I must add, she has overcome the most traumatic of childhoods, the kind you might see in a lifetime movie. Her husband was the only man she has ever been with besides me and has controlled her her whole life and I believe breaking from that process might be a long-term proposition (if ever).
I am still in this situation and for some reason have been totally unable to walk away. Not looking for validation, but because this started as a true open loving relationship I don't believe it has to suffer same fate as "once a cheater always a cheater" or "starts as affair never ends well".