bumble

If it were me in your shoes I would keep those line of communication open and clear.

It seems like is all about his feelings and thought and concerns. Poor him poor him. A trial seperation is great way to just seperate IMO. I would only do it if there was some form of abuse going on that he needed treatment for. Right now he seems like he is playing games. Stringing you along "oh I was thinking about having an affair". Probably seeing if he could get something he wanted out of you.

Don't use your body as a tool to keep your husband. This man said he wanted to have an affair on you, which means he would have if the situation was right for it.

You ned to tell him how the cow eats the corn. Tell him you are willing to work on your marriage, but not if he wants to add another woman in the picture. Tell him that his feelings are important to you, but your feelings should be equally important to him. Time away would take his mind off of the situation at hand "outta sight outta mind" . You must be together and keep communication going. If sex is what would make him happy, then he can get that anywhere and he will if thats what this is all about.

You are not a mind reader and his unhappyness for the last four years is only your fault if you knew you were making him unhappy. Like you said, you had no idea he was so unhappy and why should you. Don't let him toy you aroud. That what I would do