oblivionbaby -
You make good points, but here is another way of looking at it. Different people need handling differently.
Men like stumpped's husband, are what is termed passive. Maybe not passive 24/7 but passive in sexually. Maybe he was not always this way.
It is unfortunate because society expects men to be active, and woman the more passive types. However, we are as we are. So if this is who he really is, then it's no good waiting for this man to light your fire. What WILL work is lighting his fire.
I would not kick this sort of guy out of bed too fast. Passive men carfuly handled can make very loyal husbands. But if you feed a Beta dog on Alpha dog food, the dog gets sick
Once you get him happy, this sort of guy will be amazingly open to negotiation - and everybody wins (if it's done with love).
Alpha males don't compromise easily. Withhold sex from them for 2 weeks and they are ready to DO SOMETHING about it.
Most woman in the first instance are erotically attracted to the Alphas. But truth be known, they are not easy to live with long term, unless they have done a lot of work on themselves.
With the Beta male, YOU have to take on the task of bringing out the best in him. Give him good sex and he will purr like the cat that got the cream.
You put that smile on his face - why not take a pride in your work?