sisters359

You say "rage," and that will be so harmful to the kids. Regardless of what you decide to do longer term, protect the kids now, even if it means insisting he leave for a time. Really. They don't deserve this and rage is really scary.

Then it's time to assess what you owe him and what you owe yourself and your kids. Medical appointments and counseling for him were good advice. Setting boundaries for what you will accept in order for him to return to the family are essential, and you must be prepared to stick by them. No using, no rage, making and keeping his own appointments--non-negotiable. Your recovery needs to be more important to you than his recovery or the marriage, frankly. You don't want situations pulling you back. Keep the kids' in focus and you'll find the strength to do what you need to do. Once he is on his own, he may, too. But you cannot control that. God bless and good luck.