It sounds like you're creating the situation that you're unhappy with - by arguing about sex, you're probably pushing your wife further away. Try working on your relationship first, then intimacy will improve and sex will come more naturally. Treat your wife with respect and listen to her nonverbal cues, if she doesn't seem interested in sex, don't push it. When's the last time you two got a babsitter and went out on a date?
It's going to take time, so you need to be patient. No one's ever died from lack of sex... the arguing is probably much more destructive to your relationship than not having sex.
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