Lsot1

Justean, thanks for the reply. I know that it will take a long time, if it can be done at all. All i need at the moment is a chink of light to work towards. You are right about my self esteem as well. I hate myself. I need to stop that. My wife also said, if you don't respect yourself, you can't expect others to respect you either.

It's just nice to hear people that think there is a way out.

MT, I started increasing my drinking from being a social drinker whilst employed by a very controlling person. I left him to start on my own, but carried the burden with me. I have also been on anti-depressants for about 8 years. (for the same reasons)

My wife is a mental health nurse, an I can now see what it must have been like for her. I imagine it must have been like an electrician having to rewire his house everynight when he gets home.