Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Wife developed an emotional affair, but she can't let go...

dubBruin · 03-04-2010, 01:14 PM

My wife and I have been together three years now, and married for a year.

About a year and a half into our relationship, she began her first emotional affair. It was the worst month of my life when I found out. A month later she eventually stopped talking to the guy, but it wasn't exactly a quick departure, and it was more of circumstance than her doing it for me. (She worked with him, but she changed jobs at this point)

While it took a few months to cope, we were going strong after that. A minor blip in an otherwise unblemished relationship.

Two months ago, a year into our marriage, I saw she was texting her new guy friend at work a lot. She was also calling him on her drive to and from work. At first, she claimed she was purely trying to make new work friends. I asked her to please be open and honest and not have this turn into what had happened before.

A week later she told me she hadn't felt close to me in months. That we've been distant. She asked that we take a weekend apart to enjoy ourselves with friends so we could come back rejuvenated. I was reluctant but agreed.

When reuniting on Monday, I read her text messages. She had lied about spending both nights with some friends, and had gone over to her new work friends house twice. She text him that now that he had her emotionally, she was scared he wouldn't want her anymore.

She was in the midst of another emotional affair. This time, she kissed him once.

I asked her to drop him completely. That she needed to focus on us. That we need to communicate more. At the time she agreed. But she hasn't stop texting him.

She claims now to only answer his texts, and doesnt text him out of the blue. She's apparently giving him relationship advice with a new girl he is after. I don't care, I don't want him in our life anymore. Is this unreasonable?

Each time I ask her why she is still texting him, she says she will stop... but she never does. Now shes paranoid I'll look at her phone so she hides it or constantly has it on her.

What should I do to let her know how much it hurts me that she still texts him? How do I get her to talk to me?

Sorry this is so long.

03-04-2010, 01:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
dubBruin Registered User Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 8	Wife developed an emotional affair, but she can't let go... My wife and I have been together three years now, and married for a year. About a year and a half into our relationship, she began her first emotional affair. It was the worst month of my life when I found out. A month later she eventually stopped talking to the guy, but it wasn't exactly a quick departure, and it was more of circumstance than her doing it for me. (She worked with him, but she changed jobs at this point) While it took a few months to cope, we were going strong after that. A minor blip in an otherwise unblemished relationship. Two months ago, a year into our marriage, I saw she was texting her new guy friend at work a lot. She was also calling him on her drive to and from work. At first, she claimed she was purely trying to make new work friends. I asked her to please be open and honest and not have this turn into what had happened before. A week later she told me she hadn't felt close to me in months. That we've been distant. She asked that we take a weekend apart to enjoy ourselves with friends so we could come back rejuvenated. I was reluctant but agreed. When reuniting on Monday, I read her text messages. She had lied about spending both nights with some friends, and had gone over to her new work friends house twice. She text him that now that he had her emotionally, she was scared he wouldn't want her anymore. She was in the midst of another emotional affair. This time, she kissed him once. I asked her to drop him completely. That she needed to focus on us. That we need to communicate more. At the time she agreed. But she hasn't stop texting him. She claims now to only answer his texts, and doesnt text him out of the blue. She's apparently giving him relationship advice with a new girl he is after. I don't care, I don't want him in our life anymore. Is this unreasonable? Each time I ask her why she is still texting him, she says she will stop... but she never does. Now shes paranoid I'll look at her phone so she hides it or constantly has it on her. What should I do to let her know how much it hurts me that she still texts him? How do I get her to talk to me? Sorry this is so long.