| | Re: Wife Doesn't Want Me Spending Time With Married Female Friend-Please Comment!
Not sharing that information would be a mistake--with your wife, with people giving advice. Sharing information about the state of one's marriage with anyone is a sign of intimacy, of the state of your friendship. Women don't share this information with just anyone, and we know that, so we know that the fact that she is sharing it with you tells us something about the nature of your friendship. (Women may "poke fun" of husbands with other women, without it being intimate--it's sharing a common experience--like how a guy will open a cupboard and say, "where's the XX?" when the XX is right in front of him. This is not about marriage problems; ups and downs that are specific to a particular marriage ARE much more intimate and unlikely to be shared with anyone but close friends).
Now, just because a woman shares that level of intimacy with a male friend, it does not mean that anything is developing. As a woman, I know I have male friends with whom I can share deeply personal, intimate information--and I will NEVER feel a sexual attraction toward them. There are other friends with whom I would never have shared that level of information (when still married) b/c I knew I could feel sexual attraction toward them.
The problem for anyone giving you a reaction to this is, none of us (not even you) really knows whether this friendship has the potential to become something more. Given the level of intimacy you and this friend share, it is not unreasonable that your wife has a concern.
The most obvious solution is to include your wife when you hang out with your friend. There is no reason to insist on it being BOTH couples if that doesn't work. Sometimes the "third wheel" is the perfect configuration--like if your wife's sister hangs out with you and her. This would be another good time for that configuration.