| | Re: Been married 12 years. Affair of the heart for 2 years.
My marriage survived a pretty serious EA and from that sprung a stronger marriage that operates at a level that was impossible a few years ago. It is important to recognize that some of your connection issues with your wife are a direct result of your feelings for this other woman. Even though you were out of contact with her for a year, it was apparently not enough time for you to get passed the fantasy of a relationship with her. My recommendations are almost always to save the marriage and I see nothing here to advise differently. Since she has "expressed her love" I believe you need to have a frank discussion with her that this is interfering with your marriage and family so the relationship will not happen. Working at the same company makes no contact impossible. Consider that a job change may need to occur. Do not have another child at this point and you owe it to your wife to tell her you are feeling disconnected from her and now is not the time. Whether you tell her about TOW is a tough call. I suggest you and your wife begin counseling as it is obvious you have not been able to resolve this issue on your own and your marriage, wife and family deserve every option be explored. You've done nothing wrong other that letting your heart lead you away from you marriage. I commend you for recognizing and trying to be proactive in this. Good luck.
OBTW is the other woman married also?
Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.
"Some of the greatest lessons life has taught me came from my darkest days in it" -Amp