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Old 03-10-2010, 05:52 PM   #14 (permalink)
bravo99
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 37
Default Re: Is there hope for a porn addict?

InnerGold and Angel2010

Thank you so much for your comments. I'll check out the link.

Angel I feel for you sister and I'm so sorry that we're both going through this pain.
If he isn't willing to work with you and you can; leave before your stuck like me. Cheating is cheating, that's time and feelings that should be spent on you.

Today I found 2 christian sites that I searched that gave me good info: familydynamics.net and lds.org (I really liked the things this one said about how a wife should be treated.)

I told him if he wants to leave to leave as I'm so tired of it all and hope our kids survive.
He says he wants to change. We have an appointment with a counselor on Friday. He's been calling me and telling me to be honest about my feelings blah blah blah.
I don't believe anything he says, I don't want him to read the 50 pages of journaling I've done; mostly that I don't believe him and hate him.
I don't want him saying he's relieved to be caught or that he loves me anymore.

Problems for me: For about 3 years something has been nagging at me but I couldn't put my finger on it, thought it was me. 2-3 years is how long he's been LIVING with it hours and hours a night while he's away from home with no accountability
3-5 days/nights a week.

During this time he made personal contacts on chat, moved to phone calls and email and sent his address to one (that I know of); but said he never went through with a meet because it became to real; I don't believe this.
He also conspired with a guy from a sex chat to see if I'd respond to him and chat with all of them. How sad is that?
Of course I didn't respond and only know about it from the email in his box.

The other is the letter he wrote to my so called friend saying for 20 years he's wished for me to fall in love with someone else so he could be free to be with her and the memory of their one night together and 2 sneaky meetings are always on his mind.

He created a facebook page to see hers and lied to me about it.
Called and emailed, he says it wasn't real and he was just feeling guilty for the way he acted and was running things through his guilty mind because he didn't how to stop or get past it.
But this personalized it all and I don't see how we can get past ALL of it.

I don't know if I want to anymore. Sorry my posts are always too long. Still can't quite get my mind to slow.
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