WARNING - BLUNT MESSAGE BELOW - DIPLOMACY FILTERS OFF
I am confused by your posts. Her unhealthy lifestyle gave her a weight problem to START. And having babies exacerbated the problem she already had. This is almost totally about her behaviors - or as you put it her lack of positive behaviors. She is headed toward adult onset diabetes which is really destructive.
As for leaving her H - in the dating marketplace - fat women with 3 kids are not valued by desirable males. This is just reality.
When you marry you join EVERYTHING including your bodies. There is no his/her body there is now a shared marital body which she is not showing respect for.
I do agree with her that lipo is a bad way to go - it is also true that she is not taking ownership of this problem and really working on it.
Originally Posted by martino
You are talking about her husband re-training himself to desire her again. He doesn't see her as a sex object but the goal is to actually see her as a sex object. Plain and simple. You prefer side stepping words and mentalistic terms, I see it as behavior or lack there-of. Everyone's problems here are a result of too much or not enough behavior. Everyone's successes are a result of a past negative behavior becoming positive. Everyone's problems are a result of a past behaviors that were positive replaced with new negative behaviors and the resulting consequences. This whole board is simply an elaborate switchboard of behaviors in people's lives. In my opinion, to see it any other way invites confusion.