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What Do Women Feel During PIV Sex with No Orgasm?

62K views 109 replies 40 participants last post by  FrazzledSadHusband 
#1 ·
I was having sex with my husband this morning (missionary - him on top) and he stopped for a few seconds and I realized that I didn't even feel him inside of me. While he's moaning from pleasure, I don't really feel too much. I've never had an orgasm from PIV sex. I think it's nice and it brings us closer, but it seems pretty one-sided to me.

I was thinking of getting a vibrator, but even still, if sex lasts a few minutes, I don't think I can come in a few minutes. I guess we should start on me first. I feel more when we have sex doggy-style.

I'm just wondering, aside from the great emotional connection, what is it that women are feeling, like the ones who have sex several times a week, or every day, or are the women having an orgasm, too?
 
#3 ·
I typically will always wait for my wife to go first. She just really has a hard time going in any position if she is not using her hand. Have you tried to use your hand while he is on top of you?

I also just bought this new toy for her. It was from Adam and Eve and fits around my penis, it extends the girth of my penis at the base significantly (I am way thicker on top toward the head).

It also has a small bullet type vibrator pointing directly at her clit and has a bunch of feeler things on it so when I thrust the vibrator and the feelers push on her sweet spot, that may help?
 
#4 ·
Nope, I don't feel much that way, either. Some pressure, some movement... That's about it.

Luckily my husband loves oral and will do it forever! Works for me! LoL!! :)
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#5 ·
Well I dont use toys or anything but I do thrust along with him while hr is on top. I always O when riding him though. We normally keep going until I have had enough. Even if that means he cums twice for my one. One thing that helps me with my O's though is contracting the muscles down there while he is thrusting. It also helps me feel more.
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#60 ·
Well I dont use toys or anything but I do thrust along with him while hr is on top.
One thing that helps me with my O's though is contracting the muscles down there while he is thrusting. It also helps me feel more.
^^^^^^
THIS right there is the answer.
Time his movements and you thrust to meet his.
Also , if you can't feel anything, just place a pillow below your hips and wrap your legs around his waist.
 
#6 ·
So, essentially, missionary position sex is just an emotional bond for women, not something that they get any significant sexual gratification out of unless toys or other stimuli are involved?
 
#8 ·
Ok just because there may not be an O doesnt mean there isnt significant sexual gratification. Just an emotional bond? You say that as if its kinda a bad thing....
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#13 ·
I'm just wondering, aside from the great emotional connection, what is it that women are feeling, like the ones who have sex several times a week, or every day, or are the women having an orgasm, too?
I think it is very important that a woman gets off first, at least once. When my DH was with me I bought her a LELO Liv which she liked and used with and without me.

She often would get very wet and it was hard for me to feel anything as a downside. She would get a O once and awhile from PIV but always got off on oral.

Your husband's duty is to provide you a big O either with toys or oral. I do not understand how any man will not make the woman a priority when making love. I am not just starting to date since her passing and want to try some of the things we use to do. I threw away all our toys a year ago.

You can buy new toys like the LELO Liv on Amazon much cheaper than local adult toy stores. Talk to your husband, he could be clueless about your needs, some guys are just wired like that. Unless you tell them they think you are getting satisfied.
 
#21 ·
Experimenting with different positions to find what gives the greatest amount of pleasure for each of you is a great thing. Communicating about what gives you each pleasure is vital.

Have you ever tried something like this The BangO Vibrating Pleasure - Assorted Colors - BNG110E - A Place For Passion for your missionary position. It can extend the time that he can last, he may feel bigger inside you and the vibe is wonderful for stimulating your clit so you can get there quicker. Toys can increase the intensity of the O that you are experiencing as well.

I love having O but there are times that I don't due to stress or something and I still enjoy the intimacy. If it was a situation of "wham bam thank you maam" with no regards to my pleasure then I would not be happy with that.

I can tell if my H is gonna be more prone to a quickie, at these times I will take top where I have more control and can prolong the event til I am able to O.
 
#28 ·
5 - 10 minutes of PIV and my wife is cumming like a freight train. That's our particular problem - it's actually too easy for her, leaving her uninterested in experimenting with anything else. I can only remember 1 orgasm for her from anything other than PIV in nearly 3 decades.
 
#30 ·
Are you saying your husband doesn't know that you don't orgasm from missionary position sex? How long have you been married? Is this not something you talk about? Sorry, I'm a bit confused from your posts.

Anyway, I come easily from PIV missionary because over the 20+ years my husband and I have been having sex he (and I) has worked out several techniques that work. It's more a grinding move than an thrusting one.

He also gives me oral sex nearly every time we have sex, which is 4+ times a week atm. I do the same for him, it doesn't seem like much to ask to me.
 
#33 ·
Ladies.... don't ya FEEL him inside you? Don't you feel the whole sliding in and out? Don't you feel all the places the head of his penis touches inside you? It sounds like some of you are saying that you don't really feel his penis sliding around, or pressing all those places.... is that true?

I've had 5 children, and I still feel every centimeter. Does that mean I am just lucky? (well, I do feel lucky!) Is it our physical make up that makes the difference? Or his? :) Or both?

I've never thought about this.... I thought all women feel what I feel. But now..... if they did.... there wouldn't be withholding!!!
 
#40 ·
I got the impression, from TAM and elsewhere, that it is not uncommon for a woman to NOT orgasm from PIV sex. When a poster asked, "does your husband know that you do not orgasm from PIV sex." I'd have to say definitely. When I do orgasm from oral sex, I am vocal and my body tenses, and I am sure there are other signs. During PIV sex, I don't make any sounds because I'm not going to be contrived - I just don't feel all that orgasm goodness.

I definitely DO feel the in and out motion, but when my H stops moving, I literally do not feel him inside me. That's in missionary. I do feel him doggie style.

With no orgasm on the horizon from PIV sex, it just feels like an in and out motion to me. We have tried several positions in the last few weeks, like cowgirl, reverse cowgirl (had to look these up - found this website List of All Sex Positions), missionary but my feet at a 90 degree angle to my body, and although some of these require acrobatic skill, I still don't feel anything close to an impending orgasm.
 
#53 ·
I got the impression, from TAM and elsewhere, that it is not uncommon for a woman to NOT orgasm from PIV sex. When a poster asked, "does your husband know that you do not orgasm from PIV sex." I'd have to say definitely. When I do orgasm from oral sex, I am vocal and my body tenses, and I am sure there are other signs. During PIV sex, I don't make any sounds because I'm not going to be contrived - I just don't feel all that orgasm goodness.

I definitely DO feel the in and out motion, but when my H stops moving, I literally do not feel him inside me. That's in missionary. I do feel him doggie style.

With no orgasm on the horizon from PIV sex, it just feels like an in and out motion to me. We have tried several positions in the last few weeks, like cowgirl, reverse cowgirl (had to look these up - found this website List of All Sex Positions), missionary but my feet at a 90 degree angle to my body, and although some of these require acrobatic skill, I still don't feel anything close to an impending orgasm.
Okay, but have you talked about it? Have you talked together about how having an orgasm during sex at some point, whether from oral, hand, toys or whatever is important to you? Is it important to him?

In most women, the nerve endings don't go that far into the vagina, they're clustered around the opening. Some have a bunch a bit further up at the front - the g-spot - but others don't, I don't for example.

So yeah, for me, no direct clitoral stimulation = no orgasm. But there are ways to get that direct stimulation during missionary position sex.

TMI possibly here. If your husband pushes in really deeply and kind of rotates his pubic bone against your clitoras at the right rate, that might work. If you are on top and you kind of lean forward and grind against him in the same way, that might work. Or doggy style and you can use your hand or a vibrator.

But there's nothing wrong with needing oral to O. Just make sure it's part of each session.
 
#41 ·
Missionary is my least favorite. Like some of the others, getting really wet and having little to no friction isn't great. It isn't about being "loose" or him being "tiny" it's about the arousal. More natural lubrication = more arousal = less friction. I rarely orgasm with PIV, and nothing pisses me off greater than when a man I'm with knows this, and then blocks my hand from my clit, so I not only can't orgasm from PIV (which I'm sure he's trying to get, so HE feels like superman) now I can't orgasm from my clitoris. That's why I love doggy, feels great and I can use my hand to stimulate my clit.
 
#42 ·
I am hoping that this thread is not misleading men to think that PIV, especially missionary, is a waste of effort for women.

It's not. I absolutely love PIV. There is something about being 'filled up' that nothing else can compete with. The act of in/out is something I crave. With foreplay there comes a point where I have to have PIV.

I don't know how it is for other women of course. But for me... I crave PIV even if I do not orgasm.

I find it embarasssing to talk about this on the forum but am because the posts here are making it sound like women get nothing out of PIV... that is NOT true.
 
#43 ·
I myself enjoy hearing what you women feel, it gives me some idea as to what is happening. I know what my wife told me she use to feel, but all women are different.

She would sometimes get a O from PIV but only about 33% of the time. But always got a O from oral. What you are saying explains something I wondered. If a woman does not get a O from PIV, why do they like PIV.

The ladies in this thread have explained a lot of the pleasure that men like myself find hard to understand. Men seem to feel not having a O is not pleasurable for the most part. Explains why women often enjoy a quickie without a O.
 
#44 ·
Hmm, it's strange to me that you feel absolutely nothing during piv IslandGirl. Not to be crude, but is your husband very thin, girth-wise? When my husband and I have sex I can definitely feel him rubbing and filling my insides, my favorite feeling :) he is on the thicker side girth wise for sure.
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#49 ·
From the descriptions, I liken it to this:

If you masturbate a man at the base of his penis, and only the base of his penis, no head action at all, he's likely to feel sexually stimulated. It will feel good, and it'll be enjoyable for me.

Some men will be able to reach climax from base-only masturbation, however many men will likely not orgasm from this. For some, even if they can, it will take a very long time, and a lot of constant stimulation to get there. And some will not feel any sensation whatsoever.

The way PIV sex is described by a lot of women (not all) just makes me think the closest approximation for a man to understand is thinking of masturbating without including the nerve sensitive head of his penis.
 
#52 ·
From the descriptions, I liken it to this:

The way PIV sex is described by a lot of women (not all) just makes me think the closest approximation for a man to understand is thinking of masturbating without including the nerve sensitive head of his penis.
Interesting analogy, my wife said there was a difference in what she said she felt when she got a G-spot O and a clitoris O. The G-spot which she got with both PIV and with oral and some digital stimulation was a deep O, a very relaxing type O.

Both were very nice but the G-spot was a overall body relaxing feel than the clitoris O. She liked them both, the clitoris O was much easier for her to reach. I think based on what I recall they often came at random for G-spot. Maybe she was more relaxed or mentally more in tune when it happened.
 
#54 ·
I love love love missionary... especially the 'CAT' version :D It makes my toes curl!

OP - different positions rub/stroke differently (some i feel way more than others) but any position that rubs my g-spot area sets me off... so cow girl or CAT are my most pleasurable. I only cum from PIV every now and then, usually after I've already O'd from oral but if I'm going to cum from PIV it's going to be in one of those positions and even if i don't quite get there...it sure feels good trying :smthumbup:

I really hope all you folks that aren't feeling much are doing your kegal exercises!!
They will increase sensations/feelings for both of you...
 
#55 ·
I love love love missionary... especially the 'CAT' version :D It makes my toes curl!
Just being proactive before the question comes....CAT= Coital Alignment Technique. My wife and I use this frequently. Especially when she is on top. She has been able to O during me on top missionary but it is infrequent and requires some serious work on both our parts.
 
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#57 ·
Thanks all! Just to get a bit more technical here - for me to orgasm from oral sex can take 10-20+ minutes. For the women who can achieve a clitoral orgasm from sex, either from her own hand, or the guys hand, or the guys penis or pelvis, since sex doesn't really last for 10-20 minutes, how can you orgasm so quickly? Are you already on the orgasm trajectory from foreplay before you begin PIV?
 
#58 ·
I'll speak for my wife, who isn't here to speak for herself.

Sex (and I mean actual PIV, actively thrusting, real sex) can certainly last more than 20 minutes if necessary, and frequently does. Not sure why you think otherwise.

Normally, my wife needs less than 10 minutes, sometimes only 5, to achieve orgasm, and that's from a complete "cold start". She hates, loathes, and avoids foreplay like the plague, so there's no guessing here - she is NOT on the E-ticket ride to eyes-rolling-back-in-the-head before we start. Most of the time she can get to a climax before I can.

It wasn't always like this. When we first got married, it took about a year to figure it out. Ever since then, it's been at least one and as many as three per episode, all from nothing more than PIV.
 
#63 ·
I'm going to try the pillow and contracting the muscles. I put my hands under my butt this last time to raise me up, but that didn't do much.

TAM is like mythbusters for me. I don't know why I assumed that sex usually lasted like 5 minutes. I guess I do know why - my husband has PE, although it's been a bit better lately, so if he lasts for 4 or 5 minutes, I thought that was normal. 2-3 minutes is average, and when the PE is really bad, no exaggerating, but it can last 5 seconds.

I guess since I've only had one partner my whole life, my knowledge outside of my walls has been very limited, which is why, I guess until just very recently, I never asked for or expected or wanted more and just clueless about sexual things in general. Thanks all.
 
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