Originally Posted by gfc777
Just finished reading all 18 pages... WOW, I guess my therapist was right - I'm not alone! I feel for you bro!
My situation is much the same - been together 14 years (married for 3.5). She gave me the "I love you but not in love" thing about a month ago. She's been living with her parents for the last 2 weeks - I asked her to leave.
Don't mean to hijack your thread but I'm in the same messed up state of mind you were in... Did you take up the advice on reading any of the books? If so which one would you recommend - I need something constructive to distract me for a little while... "I Love You but I'm Not IN Love with You" by Andrew G. Marshall kinda caught my eye but not sure if its any good.
I think I read every self help book out there about saving a marriage, midlife crisis, etc.. While they all have good advice, nothing worked for me. My wife and I are now divorced, and I can honestly say that I do not ever see us getting back together.
But - I can also say that I am happier than I have been in a very long time... It took me a very long time to realize that what I missed was the relationship, not so much my wife as a person (I got the opportunity to spend the day with my X-wife a month ago and it became obvious to me that I do not like her much anymore, she is not a good person)...
The best advice I can give you, and I know you don't want to hear this, is:
1. Take care of yourself... go to the gym, get in shape, learn about nutrition on how it effects your mental well being.
2. Go out - with females... or get some good female friends... I have 2 female friends that helped me greatly through some very tough times.. it is invaluable to have an honest female opinion during tough times..
3. Date - as soon as you can.. Meeting other women will soon show you that there are alot of very cool and good looking women out there.. it is alot of fun.
I know these things are the furthest thing from your mind, but these thing will help you move quicker from a very bad state of mind to a more healthier state of mind... Remember - you cannot, no matter how much you want to, control your wifes actions, thoughts, etc.. You can only control you. So do something good for yourself...
It does get better in time (way, way better), even though I know right now it does not seem that way... hang in there bro..