| | Re: sexually used?
I can't quite tell from your post if you're suffering from 'Dead Mommy Syndrome'. It is difficult to keep in touch with the sexual beings we are once we become mothers. We are tired, distracted, craving solitude or even just a bit of quiet... in short... our forces are scattered and we just try to make it through each day hoping we didn't miss any important school notes or appointments. Then, at night, we're supposed to turn on our inner Venus? Very difficult and men never seem to understand this.
It sounds like a compromise is in order. Would he consider taking over mommy duties one night a week to give you a break to rejuvenate - maybe take a bubble bath, give yourself a manicure, read a book/magazine etc.?
My husband and I went through something similar and are still trying to work out the kinks, but it's definitely getting better. He was missing the spice we had earlier on in our relationship - lingerie, spontaneous sex, adventuresome sexual activities, etc. This past Valentine's Day, my gift to him was a year's worth of 'Freaky Fridays' with coupons for every activity we've engaged in and even some we haven't. He gets to choose what I wear, what we do, and where we do it. All elements are up to him. It is a way for him to feel that the spice isn't gone and I can be ready and willing. It's also nice to tap into my 'inner Venus' and play the temptress once again. What a rush!
Other days of the week are more typical. At times, I'm in the mood, other times I just accommodate him, and he doesn't complain if I take a pass if I'm not interested at all.
Ours is a work in progress, but we are both willing to give and try to understand the other. Communication is key.
But, a word of warning, if you continue doing what you're doing, deep resentment will grow within you and you will begin seeing him as the enemy. No man has a right to denigrate a woman and we should not allow them to do that. You are on a slippery slope and need to make a change soon.
Good luck to you!