Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

anon2010 · 04-11-2010, 03:08 AM

H. came tonight and just left, says he'll come see me tomorrow. I'm not gonna worry about him anymore, it's been too stressful lately.

H. says R. in this situation is a black guy, but according to the lady, her son R. is half filipino and half-white. So weird... I have a feeling that I will never know the truth about this story. I had asked him to take a polygraph, he agreed at first but later when I found a polygraph service he expressed his mistrust for the test. Says it's not 100% accurate and I didn't push it further.

I was able to maintain my calm tonight, so reasoned with him to consider getting tested again. I also went to see my Dr. Thursday and asked her to contact H's Dr. She said she will do it, but cautioned that if his other tests come back negative, he will have more ammunition to gun me for infidelity.

But I see it as a win-win situation. If he tests negative, I will know for sure that I have no syphilis, my test results are false-positive. If he tests positive, then my innocence is proven and he gets treated. I already know of his infidelity, so it's not going to deliver another blow to me. The only good that can come out of this is the assurance of us or me never having had this horrible disease.

Then if he wants to blame me, be it. He knows in his heart that I have not slept with anyone else. He likes to blame me in the heat of things but knows I'm not the cheating type. It was evident tonight when we had this discussion and he understood it. So he's going back to the hospital on Tuesday.

He's asking me to let him come home and work on the marriage. I have my divorce papers ready but can't file them just yet. He's opening up a little by little and admits to personal stuff he never told me before. Says he's been working on himself, reading books on marriage, and sees how he's been immature. He's saying all the right things, but I don't know how to deal with this.

Why should I let him move back in? Who knows he only wants the comfort of the home, not me? I want him to suffer the consequences. I mean, we could work on the relationship without living together, right? I want him to prove he can change, get his life together first, no matter how long it takes, then come ask me for marriage again.

On the other hand, if he truly wants to change and work on the marriage, will not living together hinder the progress? Is it better to work on the marriage while living together or while being separated? How should I proceed with the situation at hand?

I don't even understand why I'm listening to him and not just filing for divorce already.

04-11-2010, 03:08 AM	#3 (permalink)
anon2010 Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 35	Re: Is she lying? H. came tonight and just left, says he'll come see me tomorrow. I'm not gonna worry about him anymore, it's been too stressful lately. H. says R. in this situation is a black guy, but according to the lady, her son R. is half filipino and half-white. So weird... I have a feeling that I will never know the truth about this story. I had asked him to take a polygraph, he agreed at first but later when I found a polygraph service he expressed his mistrust for the test. Says it's not 100% accurate and I didn't push it further. I was able to maintain my calm tonight, so reasoned with him to consider getting tested again. I also went to see my Dr. Thursday and asked her to contact H's Dr. She said she will do it, but cautioned that if his other tests come back negative, he will have more ammunition to gun me for infidelity. But I see it as a win-win situation. If he tests negative, I will know for sure that I have no syphilis, my test results are false-positive. If he tests positive, then my innocence is proven and he gets treated. I already know of his infidelity, so it's not going to deliver another blow to me. The only good that can come out of this is the assurance of us or me never having had this horrible disease. Then if he wants to blame me, be it. He knows in his heart that I have not slept with anyone else. He likes to blame me in the heat of things but knows I'm not the cheating type. It was evident tonight when we had this discussion and he understood it. So he's going back to the hospital on Tuesday. He's asking me to let him come home and work on the marriage. I have my divorce papers ready but can't file them just yet. He's opening up a little by little and admits to personal stuff he never told me before. Says he's been working on himself, reading books on marriage, and sees how he's been immature. He's saying all the right things, but I don't know how to deal with this. Why should I let him move back in? Who knows he only wants the comfort of the home, not me? I want him to suffer the consequences. I mean, we could work on the relationship without living together, right? I want him to prove he can change, get his life together first, no matter how long it takes, then come ask me for marriage again. On the other hand, if he truly wants to change and work on the marriage, will not living together hinder the progress? Is it better to work on the marriage while living together or while being separated? How should I proceed with the situation at hand? I don't even understand why I'm listening to him and not just filing for divorce already.