| | Desperately Seeking Advice
My husband and I have been married for 3.5 years and have two small children.
My husband grew up in a traditional household where the man works and brings home the money and the woman takes care of the household and the children. I am very opposed to this way of life and when we got married we agreed to view our marriage as a partnership where we worked together to accomplish the day to day things and where both partners were equally important.
Apparently its hard to break history. My husband does not do laundry, dishes, diapers, cleaning, bath time w the kids, yard work, fix our cars, or take care of the two dogs he has. He also now only showers once per week and never brushes his teeth. I am disgusted by him. Our house and yard look like crap because he starts projects and never finishes them. He says that he works so hard that he doesn't have enough energy to do those things when he gets home (he and I own our own business together).
I am very open with my husband about my concerns. He was prescribed some anti-depressants a few months ago in hopes that they would increase his willingness to help me and take care of himself...they didn't work and he quit taking them regularly.
I am tired of 'nagging' him and acting like his mother! I've tried everything from positive reinforcement to taking things away from him that distract him (i.e. tv, computer, etc.) I did not get married to this man to replace his mother and I am much too young to be mothering a 26 year old!
I've tried to talk to him about it and find out the reason as to why he feels that he works harder than me or is above doing those things. He has no excuses. He says that he loves me. The says that he loves our children. He says that he loves the dogs, the house, his clothes, and all the things that we have...but he doesn't get the connection between loving something and the work that comes with those things. I'm at my wits end and need some good advice!