StarryEyed

I know it's terribly cliche for me to say this but while I love my husband dearly, I don't feel that I'm in love with him anymore.

We have been together for almost 6 years and married for 1. He was my first bf, and I was initially attracted to him because he treated me like a queen. Friends used to enviously say that he worshipped the ground I walked on. I felt like the centre of his world in the first few years we were together, and it was the happiest time of my life. Over time, he has become much less attentive and romantic, but still treats me well. However, with the spark now long gone from our relationship, I feel hopelessly bored with him and our life together. It seems we have little in common and nothing to talk about.

It didn't help that last month I went away on a course and met a guy who ended up liking me. He didn't know I was married, and as it has been so long since a guy has shown interest in me, I didn't clarify things with him. Although I enjoyed the attention he gave me, I rejected all his physical advances. I didn't intend to have an affair.

We went our separate ways 2 weeks ago. He lives in another city 2 hours away from me so it's unlikely we'll see each other again unless we purposely arranged it (I'm very tempted to do this). I thought it would be easy to forget about him after the course ended but ever since I got back home, I have been pining for him and can't stop reminiscing our time together. To be honest, I don't think I miss him personally; I just miss the feeling of being pursued by a new guy, and it could have been any guy really (although this guy is lovely and I can imagine myself falling for him had I been single).

How can I improve my relationship with my husband at this point? I love he loves me and I do love him but I am so bored with our married life. He never does anything romantic or even spontaneous anymore. Each day after work, he will come home, turn on the TV or go on the computer. Sometimes, I will ask him to turn off the TV and computer and just chat with me, but then we seem to have nothing to talk about.

In the last few days, I have been crying at home because I am missing that guy so much. I have this guy's email and I can contact him anytime I want but I fear rejection from him since I rejected him so many times throughout the course. And also, I don't want this to be the start of an EA. I don't want my marriage to be tainted by infidelity. Nor does my husband deserve this kind of betrayal.

Thanks for reading.