Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - to marry or not to marry?
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Old 04-29-2010, 12:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
BellaS
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 2
Question to marry or not to marry?

Hello ladies and gents of this site. I am new here and firstly would like to say that after spending hours looking through the topics of all different forums on here I am sooo touched by the constant support you all give to eachother, I am certain that this site has helped many to 'hold it together' in in many degrees during difficult stages and hardships in their lives, and I am greatful to have found it and contribute in any way that I can.

I have a terrifying gut feeling that I am being betrayed by my fiance. A couple months ago, being suspicious I looked through his computer and found a msn messenger conversation with a woman he met for 'business' on one of his travels. The conversation was inappropriate but did not give any concrete evidence of any physical affair. At my initial confrontation, he denied that this was him, after days and days of arguing and me threatening to call the woman(who turns out is married) he admits to it. He made a lame excuse that he was afraid things were not going well with us and he was feeling lonely. I have since forgiven him but with much reservation. He is an entreprenuer and travels alot for business, mainly to Africa, for months at a time. I have knowledge that he has had casual relationships with women there.

We intend on getting married in the new year and are in the very first stages of planning. I am going to vsit him in 2 weeks and am on the fence about installing a keylogger on his computer. I know many of you have used these, and many have opinions for and against using them. My gut wrenches, and my heart completely crumbles to hear the stories of deception that some of you with sweet innocent children have endured. I am attempting at saving myself from entering into an abyss of betrayal before this wedding is underway.


While I'm certain that some of you may be quick to say that if I can trust him in the first place, don't marry him, but we all know when it comes to matters of the heart things are not always that black and white. I love him very deeply, and he brings so much to my life. However, in the selfish modern society we live in, more people succumb to temptation than ever before. Tempation consumes even the noblest of men or women. And given my personal circumstance I don't feel immoral by installing a software for my own protection. In fact, with all due repect to all the victims of infidelity, I feel justified to protect myself before making a potentially grave mistake of marrying a dishonest man.

If you made it this far, thank you. I'm sure it can get draining reading these negative posts. I would like to know any and all keyloggers anyone has used for this purpose. Is there one that is best? The most important feature for me would be monitoring instant messaging chats and emails. It also has to be able to send me emailed logs. I mean, i'm not very computer saavvy, and lets be honest the tasks that these programs can perform can be used illegally and maliciously. I don't want to downloand something and end up being the fool that has just given some criminal access to my computer..like most I do my banking on here..eek! I'm would feel like the stupidest fool if I fell for some malware scam and had my life savings stolen. I am assuming if I pay for one of the commercial one's that it is safe from that sort of thing..?? I've looked all over the internet for advice but the only thing I can find is user reviews on all of the keylogger software's websites, of course the user reviews are going to be positive..you can't trust those. But I feel I can trust the women or men that have first hand experience with them and may be more computer literate than I am.
Any advice on what keylogger to download or pay for that someone has good experience using would be so much appreciated...

Soooo sorry that post was so long!
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