Originally Posted by StarryEyed
Thanks for the great advice. I really appreciate your responses.
I know for a fact that my husband ranks me ahead of the TV and computer as he will obligingly turn these off when I ask him to. I think he just uses them to keep himself occupied when we're not interacting. I think our problem is we don't really have anything interesting to talk about. We have no common friends, and actually, my husband doesn't have a lot of friends at all, otherwise I would be quite happy to accompany him to any gatherings.
I think I would like us to start dating each other again, but he works long hours and I only work part time, which means I always have more energy left at the end of the day than him.
I feel really bad for even complaining about my marriage as my husband is really great (especially compared to a lot of my friends' husbands). He is happy to do anything I ask and automatically does his share of household chores without my prompting. I guess I just wish that he had more spontaneity and zest for life. I like travelling and meeting new people, but he enjoys being at home and is socially awkward.
Am I asking for too much here? Maybe I'm the problem in our marriage - always wanting more and more?
Apparently you are a major part of the problem. Your selfishness has directed you out of your marriage. But that is OK. At least you caught it before it got worse. Whatever you INVEST your time money and effort in is what will gain your interest. Now you have already said that when you try to talk, you both have nothing to say.
Pull him away from the TV and computer... Play cards. Make dinner together. Games. There are a number of things that have common areas. What do you both like? Is there something he likes, but you dont so much? Is it somethng that you can do? Heck if he is on the computer, go search things together, intentionally sit with him and ask him to search how to make marriage exciting. And when he almost falls off his chair and asks whats wrong. Look at him with a smile and either tell him or say I just don't want us to fall into the same ole same ole as others. I want to keep it fresh. Whatever.
Look at your time with the other. You were following your heart. But I have to tell you. Your heart is the most deceitful thing there is. It lives for the moment. If you learn to LEAD your heart, happiness is what your investment is in. And remember, when you follow your heart it leads to lust. And lust can be many things. Lust is the desire for things forbidden. So lead your heart, dont follow it.