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Wife suddenly wants me to get circumcised...I think this is ridiculous

95K views 192 replies 53 participants last post by  doctorrs 
#1 ·
My wife and I have been married for 6 years.She never has told me she has a problem with my uncircumcised penis.Yesterday she asked,"Do you ever think about getting circumcised"?And the discussion went on.It seems she doesn't like my uncircumcised penis.I've done a lot of reading online about this today.A study actually said that circumcision removes 20,000 nerve endings from the penis.And it is widely reported that uncircumcised men have more sensitivity.Im upset and confused.I do not want to get circumcised.My wife actually claimed to have told me this before.Her brother got circumcised years ago,and she claims to have talked to me about getting circumcised when she told me about her brother.That had to have been a one sentence or something of that nature and not a full conversation because I would have remembered it.So do any men have experiences with their wives wanting them to get circumcised?Any women prefer an uncircumcised penis?Why?Have you ever told a man you wanted him to get circumcised?
 
#4 ·
I wanted my H to get circumcised because his foreskin does not stretch over the head of his penis. Since the tip of his penis never comes out he doesn't feel much during sex and therefore didn't really get into sex. We can not have sex without him using a condom because it hurts him for the foreskin to stretch. He didn't tell me it hurt him for a long time and just avoided sex. Unfortunately both of us were naive to the fact that the foreskin is supposed to stretch over the head so i thought this was normal for uncircumcised guys. We only recently discovered that this is not normal. His foreskin issues made sex really unpleasant for us both which is why i wanted him to get circumcised.

Other than that i find a circumcised man more visually appealing. The thought of giving a bj to a circumcised guy is much less appealing. But i wouldn't ask my H to get circumcised just for that.
 
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#8 ·
Tell her you think her boobs are flat and she should get implants until they are a size KK. Tell her you never liked them before and are only bringing it up since she suddenly has developed the openness in the relationship to point out what you both think is ugly about one another.
 
#9 ·
I have never been with anyone uncircumcised. Have you asked her if there is a difference between sex with a man who is and isn't? If this is a visual thing, I can't imagine she would have married you. I have heard of some grown men being circumcised and I can't imagine the pain with erections during the healing process.

To answer your question.....If, in the future, I ever have relations with a man who is uncircumcised, I would NEVER request he get a circumcision. I think that is totally uncalled for. If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it.
 
#10 ·
Why does she want this? This is not something to be taken lightly. She does not seem to realize what she is asking.

Having this done in adulthood is potentially traumatic. There is risk of infection, pain, decreased sensitivity compared to what you feel now.

It is usually done when there is a problem with the foreskin like he previous posters husband.

Your wife seems to be asking this on a whim. She does not know why the procedure was done on the BIL.

Get more info from her as to why. Tell her about your research about the procedure. then ask her if is so serious a reason as to make you go through the proceedure.

This will make it seem like you are taking her into consideration in your decision. It is your body though. If you asked her to get her labia trimmed, how woukd she react?

No matter what you talk about, please don't have the proceedure done.
 
#15 ·
No disrespect, but her asking you to alter a part of your body is just plain crazy, in my eyes.
When you are married, you make a commitment to love your partner and accept them just the way they are. Plain and simple.

I would advise you to not do it if you are not comfortable with the idea. It's your body after all. I'm sure she would not like it if the tables were turned, and you suggested she alter a part of her body.
 
#16 ·
Jack, I wouldn't entertain the discussion twice. For that matter I don't think women should get boob jobs or other surgery for anyone except for themselves either. Now if you say you talked into some work then my opinion changes as to what you should be willing to do.
 
#23 ·
NO!!!! NO! NO! NO!

Female circumcision is considered cruel/brutal and is likewise illegal in this country. WHY IN THE HELL is male circumcision legal?!?!?! Sorry, my wife and I are intactivists and prefer to say intact, rather than uncircumcised. Saying uncircumcised sounds like being circumcised is the default state and one choses to lose their circumcision - to be uncircumcised. Though I was circumcised 3 days after my birth, my wife and I have done much research on this, and have decided it's wrong and chose not to circumcise our son. My mom had a problem with it, but I put her in her place on this issue. Her rationale was that a son should look like his father. I argue that losing one's little toe at birth is less detrimental to one's life than circumcision.
/rant

Modifying a body part is fine (as long as its done safely, by a licensed professional, and in a sterile environment), if that's what YOU want, but NO ONE should be forcing or even trying to convince you to change your body. This is your body, and having a circumcision could be really damaging to your sex life. I have even heard it argued, that more damage is likely when an adult gets a circumcision vice an infant (ie. lower sensitivity levels in the adult).

By the way, I am student at an American medical school, and my stance on circumcision directly contradicts the most recent publication from the American Academy of Pediatrics regarding the matter (they actually SUPPORT the operation :eek: :scratchhead:). Just adding this info so you know that not all doctors agree on the matter (I know, I'm not a doctor, yet, but I am in my 3rd year, so I know my stuff pretty well).
 
#57 ·
Female circumcision is considered cruel/brutal and is likewise illegal in this country. WHY IN THE HELL is male circumcision legal?!?!?!
Female circumcision generally very different from male circumcision. When males are circumcised, some skin is removed. When women are ‘circumcised’ in the manner is it done to millions of women in 3rd world countries, the clitoris and labia are removed and the women is sewn up to leave only an opening big enough for a penis. The purpose is to prevent women from enjoying sex.

Female circumcision is illegal in all Western countries to prevent immigrants from performing this total removed of a girls external genitalia.
 
#34 ·
I'd say you are probably correct. I think there is a LOT more than just that she doesn't like how it looks...as I pointed out in the first post I made in the thread. It is likely related to all the nonsense Jack threw her way the last few months and she was saying it to shock him. Either way, they need to figure out WHY she said it in the first place, when she at least appeared to be ok with it in the beginning.
 
#27 ·
Sigh... let's not turn this into a debate over whether it is right to get your child circumcised or not, mmmk? Jack asked if ladies have ever asked their SO to get circumcised. I mentioned that his wife MAY be bringing this up because of her PREVIOUS low self-esteem, and she may have been afraid before because she was afraid she would be alone. But it could also be related to ALL the other issues they have going on. I think THEY should discuss WHY she asked this, and if he doesn't want to do it, then he shouldn't do it. Just as she has the right to refuse certain requests he may make/has made.

I never asked my husband to get circumcised. His was done 8 days after he was born. Since I am not Jewish, our boys were done when they were one day old. I'm not debating whether we should or should not have done it. It's done. And we would choose to do it again, although we would probably have searched for a mohel to do it, even though I am not Jewish. But I digress...

My husband's circumcised penis has not inhibited our sex life. No problems with sensation, no problems when having sex, period.

Anyway, like I said, this isn't the thread to debate infant circumcision. There's one in the debate section already.
 
#31 ·
Sigh... let's not turn this into a debate over whether it is right to get your child circumcised or not, mmmk? Jack asked if ladies have ever asked their SO to get circumcised. I mentioned that his wife MAY be bringing this up because of her PREVIOUS low self-esteem, and she may have been afraid before because she was afraid she would be alone. But it could also be related to ALL the other issues they have going on. I think THEY should discuss WHY she asked this, and if he doesn't want to do it, then he shouldn't do it. Just as she has the right to refuse certain requests he may make/has made.

I never asked my husband to get circumcised. His was done 8 days after he was born. Since I am not Jewish, our boys were done when they were one day old. I'm not debating whether we should or should not have done it. It's done. And we would choose to do it again, although we would probably have searched for a mohel to do it, even though I am not Jewish. But I digress...

My husband's circumcised penis has not inhibited our sex life. No problems with sensation, no problems when having sex, period.

Anyway, like I said, this isn't the thread to debate infant circumcision. There's one in the debate section already.
You are correct. I apologize to the OP for hijacking the thread. I wasn't aware there was a debate thread. I'll take my rantings and ravings over there.
 
#35 ·
I am a doctor also...dont do it unless you are having a medical problem with the foreskin.

I had it done to me as a baby (my dad did not and my brother did not)....my mother claims she cried about it and they pressured her...hum..

Personally I hate it......I wish I was intact.

I have read posts by several women who state that the PIV sex is way way better. It helps with lube. It surely makes it more sensitive...

Its so funny too that in a culture obsessed with penis size....we would cut 1/3 (sometimes more) of the total skin surface area off this personal organ.

Its a horrible thing to do to a baby...it should be 100% illegal....it can always be done where the guy is 18 and can decide on his own....Muslims do it as teens...the pain is not that bad....

All the "medical" reasons for doing it to babies are really BS....there are excellent documentaries on this....

I would never ever allow my son to be circumcised...if I ever have one...no more than I would have allowed someone to take a scalpel to my daughters private parts.

No way.

Step back..it makes no sense to cut off this part of a man's body.....its absolutely religious tradition and that is it. Everything else are rationalizations.

There are exceptions for medical reasons...my 44 year old brother has medical problems that make it hard for him to take care of his hygiene...he got a serve urinary tract infection....and circ is a good option to prevent in future....

That is the exception..

Whatever your beliefs...natural selection or a creator....in either case a "higher power" put that skin there.....it should be left alone unless it actually causes a problem.

Everyone know about the case of the boy who had the entire penis zapped off during one....Dr John Money at Hopkins tried to have him raised as a girl....after having him castrated also.....

It never worked....it was a horror story and it ruined the mans life.

there are many other complication cases...

Its not worth even ONE case of a normal lovely baby boy losing his penis for life or partial functionality for life.
 
#40 ·
I am a doctor also...dont do it unless you are having a medical problem with the foreskin.

Personally I hate it......I wish I was intact.

I have read posts by several women who state that the PIV sex is way way better. It helps with lube. It surely makes it more sensitive...

Its so funny too that in a culture obsessed with penis size....we would cut 1/3 (sometimes more) of the total skin surface area off this personal organ.


Step back..it makes no sense to cut off this part of a man's body.....its absolutely religious tradition and that is it. Everything else are rationalizations.

There are exceptions for medical reasons...my 44 year old brother has medical problems that make it hard for him to take care of his hygiene...he got a serve urinary tract infection....and circ is a good option to prevent in future....

That is the exception..

Whatever your beliefs...natural selection or a creator....in either case a "higher power" put that skin there.....it should be left alone unless it actually causes a problem.
Again, this thread is not about INFANT circumcision. It is about JACK'S WIFE requesting that HE get it done. So, the part of your post that is relevant to THIS thread is that he should not get it done unless it is medically necessary. The rest is better served in the thread in the debate section.

ETA: I'll even make it easy on people: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/politics-religion/50830-male-insight-male-circumcision.html

There's the debate thread.
 
#37 ·
Also...I NEVER understand WOMEN who complain about foreskin...

Considering all the flaps and folds that they have in their own anatomy.

I think its all beautiful and interesting. All variations. Should we be cutting labia's to a specific size...for cosmetic reasons?

I just cant understand where any women has a point of any kind.

This is just cultural and cosmetic....and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
 
#39 ·
I've dated one guy who was uncirced. He was DISGUSTING. I can't tell you how many UTI's I got from his nasty habits of not cleaning. Not saying all uncirced guys are like that, but he turned me off. Not to mention I too like the look of a circed penis hands down. Would you date a woman who was 300lbs overweight? No? Are you shallow? It's just something that I care about, something that would make me definitely think twice before continuing in a relationship with a person due to my past experiences. Personal preference, and nothing to get bent out of shape over. Like Maricha said, it doesn't effect you.
 
#48 ·
It doesn't matter much anymore because my husband is circed. Though like I said, there's only been one uncirced guy I've been with and I didn't exactly go around polling guys before dating them, so it naturally hasn't come up much in my life. If it had and there had been some good experiences to outweigh the bad, then idk how I would feel now. But as it stands, logically I know not all uncirced guys are gross, and I know that he in particular was, circed or not. But I have nothing to replace the memory of it all and I still like circed over uncirced in general. Always will I suppose, and I honestly have no intention of changing preferences of penis style when I have other things to work on about myself.
 
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