You are being smart. Do NOT have a child now. Get an education and a career going, do the travel you want to do. THEN start on a family.
If you have children now, you will resent them, resent your H and end up resenting your life. Bad outcomes.
As for your H, he simply needs to step up, get over his fears and be adventurous enough to keep up with you.
Originally Posted by Sydni
I understand what you both are saying and I'm willing to compromise but do you think its right that I should give up my dream to travel to Italy before having a child? I mean thats a dream I have and it's a part of who I am.... He says he hates that I am putting his dreams aside so that I can do my own dreams first but Its very hard to travel when you have a child... Its hard to find money and its hard to find a sitter that you can trust.. When I suggest we save up the money for Italy first then have a baby, then I go, (so that I KNOW we would have the money for it) He said he didn't want to be stuck here, being responsible for a baby all by himself... So it just seems logical to go now. He also wants a boat and a house (we both made a list of things we dont want to give up on as a married couple) and I dont mind making the boat the first thing on the list and saving up half the funds for a house before saving up for italy (we rent a nice place now) So I am trying to give us both what we want but He just seems so put off by me going to Italy... He had no problem with the idea while we were friends, while we were dating, or even when we were engaged.. one day (i was emotional from starting birth control) right before the wedding i started crying and asked him, we are never going to italy are we? and he comforted me and said yes we will, i promise... It feels like he is the one being selfish by acting so horrified at me going.. maybe im wrong though. Thats why Im asking for everyone's input, small or large. All of my other friends are unmarried and they agree with me but they also dont understand marriage responsibilities.. Nobody does until they are married.. and i still havent figured it out so I am all for the experience of others.
Oh and btw, I agree about backing away a little from the friendship with my guy friend but is it wrong to still talk to him occasionally? He lives in another country now and I am seriously his best friend. My husband knows we talk alot and has met him a few times before he left, I asked him if he would like me to not talk to him as much but he said he isn't jealous of the friend (I do know what you mean about not staying to close to him though bc of problems that are bound to happen eventually though) but is it crossing the line to talk to him at least once or twice a week on messenger (I'm online everynight anyways for online courses) or to skype maybe once a month or once every other month or even once every 3 months (we dont skype hardly at all anymore anyways) Im trying to find the lines I need to not cross without giving up a friend. Im also trying to find a way for me and my husband to be happy without giving up my individuality. Its a hard adjustment especially when I had to give up my last name... and now im not sure if all my dreams will come through and lets just say its a little bit of an identity crisis going on...