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RachelLaura · 05-12-2010, 01:56 PM

It is driving my INSANE. I have tried over and over to have a calm conversation with him about his nitpicking and how it is wearing me down. He thinks I am being too sensitive. I think he is just being a big baby. I very often want to scream... GROW UP! He nags me at least once a day about something. I posted before about my husband's temper issues. He is on Paxil right now and has actually improved, a lot, in that area. The nagging has got to stop though. He is really good at making me feel guilty about small things. I am constantly hearing things like this:

H: "You were on the computer all damn night, you wouldn't even let me on, and now I can't use it because I'm going to bed. Thanks a lot."
Me: "I had no idea you wanted to use the computer. I wish you would have asked me, and I would have let you use it."
H: "You should have known!!! That's ridiculous. You were hogging the computer."
Me: "I don't even want to argue about this. Next time, let me know you need the computer. I'm not a mind reader. I would have let you use it."
H insists in a nasty voice that I just should have known and I was hogging the computer.

Another scenario: We have a teeny tiny bathroom, and a linen closet in the hallway next to the bathroom. When I need to scrub down the sinks, toilets, shower, etc, I move the toiletrees into the linen closet so I can really clean. He is borderline disgusting with his cleanliness, and would let the bathroom sit in grime and dirt for years if I didnt clean it. We also have a tiny sink and he constantly clutters it up with his stuff and never moves it. I NEED to move it to clean the grime, and he knows if I move it, it can easily be found in the closet.

H (muttering under his breath with sarcasm): "Amazing that your stuff is all still in the bathroom, and my shaving cream is constantly being moved into the hallway closet."
Me: "I took everything out of the bathroom yesterday to clean it, including my stuff. I needed some of my toiletrees this morning, which is why they are back in the bathroom."
H with more sarcasm: "Right."
I try to stay calm, but he WATCHED me running around cleaning the day before because his sister was coming to stay with us. It infuriates me. And all over some shaving scream he can easily retrieve from the closet.

So we are now in this cycle that is unhealthy.... I am very unattracted to him, and feel like I come home and am being nitpicked and cant enjoy my time with him. I of course do not have any desire to have sex with him. We have sex about once a week. I know he wants more. I think he is frustrated and resents this, which probably increases his nagging.

But can I flat out say to my husband.... your nagging is decreasing my sex drive? I just dont know what will even get through to him. He thinks his behavior is justified. I mentioned counseling back when he was working on his temper, and now I am considering bringing it up again.....

05-12-2010, 01:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
RachelLaura Registered User Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 24	My husband's nagging It is driving my INSANE. I have tried over and over to have a calm conversation with him about his nitpicking and how it is wearing me down. He thinks I am being too sensitive. I think he is just being a big baby. I very often want to scream... GROW UP! He nags me at least once a day about something. I posted before about my husband's temper issues. He is on Paxil right now and has actually improved, a lot, in that area. The nagging has got to stop though. He is really good at making me feel guilty about small things. I am constantly hearing things like this: H: "You were on the computer all damn night, you wouldn't even let me on, and now I can't use it because I'm going to bed. Thanks a lot." Me: "I had no idea you wanted to use the computer. I wish you would have asked me, and I would have let you use it." H: "You should have known!!! That's ridiculous. You were hogging the computer." Me: "I don't even want to argue about this. Next time, let me know you need the computer. I'm not a mind reader. I would have let you use it." H insists in a nasty voice that I just should have known and I was hogging the computer. Another scenario: We have a teeny tiny bathroom, and a linen closet in the hallway next to the bathroom. When I need to scrub down the sinks, toilets, shower, etc, I move the toiletrees into the linen closet so I can really clean. He is borderline disgusting with his cleanliness, and would let the bathroom sit in grime and dirt for years if I didnt clean it. We also have a tiny sink and he constantly clutters it up with his stuff and never moves it. I NEED to move it to clean the grime, and he knows if I move it, it can easily be found in the closet. H (muttering under his breath with sarcasm): "Amazing that your stuff is all still in the bathroom, and my shaving cream is constantly being moved into the hallway closet." Me: "I took everything out of the bathroom yesterday to clean it, including my stuff. I needed some of my toiletrees this morning, which is why they are back in the bathroom." H with more sarcasm: "Right." I try to stay calm, but he WATCHED me running around cleaning the day before because his sister was coming to stay with us. It infuriates me. And all over some shaving scream he can easily retrieve from the closet. So we are now in this cycle that is unhealthy.... I am very unattracted to him, and feel like I come home and am being nitpicked and cant enjoy my time with him. I of course do not have any desire to have sex with him. We have sex about once a week. I know he wants more. I think he is frustrated and resents this, which probably increases his nagging. But can I flat out say to my husband.... your nagging is decreasing my sex drive? I just dont know what will even get through to him. He thinks his behavior is justified. I mentioned counseling back when he was working on his temper, and now I am considering bringing it up again.....