| | Re: wife denies... i don't buy
One thing to be careful of, is to not engage in a power-struggle over your wants vs. her wants. In this instance, you can control YOU and you can change YOU--and you can control the things you contribute and to whom and when. For example, if you earn the money and own the car and pay the bills, you can also decide where the money is deposited for the safety of the "family" obligations, where the car goes to be sure it is for the "family" and not for the affair, and which bills are paid so that no cell phone you pay for is used for the affair...and no internet you pay for is used to cheat on you. Make sense?
If she chooses to cheat--she is absolutely free to do so, but on her own dime. She can cheat in the house she rents--in the bed she has bought...not in your bed. She can be unfaithful using her own money, not your check which goes to pay for the family obligations and caring for the children. She can see her lover in the car he buys for her. She can choose adultery on the phone she buys or use the internet she pays for--YOUR phone and YOUR internet pays for the children to have a game or for you to have contact with family and relatives...good stuff.
Don't turn this into a tug of war. Nope just more like this: "I realize I can't control you or stop you. You're free. But I'm also free to make choices based on my boundaries and what I want for my family and my children."