 Can't go on
I leave in a small campus town where my husband goes to school. He is very busy and this is an important move for our family too. I am alone here: a town with a lot of closed minded people who ar every private about their lives...it is like a special club and I am an outsider. Every one is nice of course, but it does not go beyond that. I spend my days with my kids and family when they call me on the phone.
My husband tries to be helpful when he is home: cleaning, asking how I am doing and helping with the kids. But I have been feeling terribly depressed lately...I dont feel anything and couldnt care less with myself, but I go with the motions and manage to give my kids love, then I am depleted...nothing left for myself or my husband.
I find myself so mad at him. I dont want to blame him, but I guess I am blaming him. I always feel I am second to his studies. He doesnt take me out and doesnt really make an effort to spend one on one time with me. The times he does come and sit next to me, I feel he is not really interested in me and soon has to get up to do his stuff.
I tried telling him that, and of course I sounded mad and upset. He didnt want hear any of it and said it is not fair that I am dumping it all on him. But I am alone here and he is the only one who cares about me in this place....or should care about me.
I think I want to take my kids and go home, back to where I came from.
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