Re: Don't know where to turn
Just becuase I need to vent some more...
Last night after work he called me asking if it was okay if he went to a bar with some co-workers for a promotion party for his co-worker. I was like yea thats fine. SO after work, I went to borders purchased a book, went online and found a book called "The Fallout", about being a spouse of someone depressed. Visited my mom...yada yada yada... He orginally asked me to pick him up at 7, but then called and said he was going to another small bar in a small area about 20 mins away. Around 9, I tried calling his cell, no awsner. He called from some number asking that I pick him up, as he was to drunk to drive. He gave me half ass directions... So I went off to this little farm-orchard town, got lost, took me about 45 mins to find it, and it was by luck, I had just told him to find another ride becuase I was lost.. So I get to the shack of a tavern, when I call the number he was calling from, and it went to the voicemail of a girl.... So then I was really mad. So I walk in the dive and find him with his co-workers and I told him lets go, I'll be in the car, he says he has to pay his bill.. As I'm waiting in the car, I hear is co-workers saying "where did she go" blah blah.. So I get out of the car and I'm like yeah I'm here just want to leave and bryan ofcourse intorduces me to everyone, which just further pisses me off. And ofcourse the ugly ****'s who he cell phone he used... I'm just like what-ever, and everyone was sucking up to me becuase they could tell I was mad, just made it worse. On the way home, I just lost it, I was mad that it was another friday night alone- why didn't he invite me, he called from a girl's cell phone... I'm usually not insecure, but when he told me thursday night that he wasn't happy and that he prefered to be alone than with me, you know that hurts...so I was nervous and confused all day..doubting myself... So On the way home, everything came out, and ofcourse in the crying/yelling type of way, which is the least productive, and oh yeah he was super drunk... But he did say I was the best thing to happen to him and that he was sorry... but I'm still angry....those are just words..... Then he threw up all over himself, and I had to clean it....
So I i made him sleep in the guest room, and got him a bucket.. just becuase I did not want puke on me. And I went to bed crying and feeling alone once again....
He's out geting some groceries to make me breakfast, but I don't know... I know we have to talk... I just needed to get everything out in some sort of form
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